Random Ranting :-/

What do you do when you can't pick yourself up?
What do you do when you reach out, and no one is there to take your hand?
What do you do when you're so lost you don't even know which way is up?
If you're alone in the world, and no one can see you. . .do you exist at all?

When I Close My Eyes

When I close my eyes, I slip into a beautiful world.  One where its always sunset.  The birds are flying into the heavens, the breeze lightly moves my hair, and the earth is a beautiful green.  There is music in the distance, and it makes you smile. 
When I close my eyes, we're walking side by side, holding hands.  I don't have to breathe because you've already taken that away and you look at me in that special way, and I get that feeling deep inside that makes me want to squirm.
When I close my eyes, I never want to open them.  Everything is too perfect in this hidden world behind my eyelids.  I did everything right the first time, and don't wish I could go back and fix it.
When I open my eyes, I slide right back into reality.  The sunset is gone and I start to breathe again. . .

Can you find me?

I am a secret. 
An story not yet told.
A whisper.
I hide in open spaces.
Where you cannot see me.
I scream in the silence.
When you cannot hear me.
You search in the dark, behind every nook and cranny.
You find nothing because you look with your eyes.

The Image Speaks For Itself

First Day of Classes

So today was my first day of classes here at SUNY Oneonta.  I think I have already told you this, but if not, I have the best schedule EVER.  My earliest class is noon and my latest class ends at 5:15!!! And on fridays, I'm done at 1:50.  Anywho, today I started out my day with Math for the Liberal Arts.  I have a feeling that is going to be the easiest class I have ever taken and will ever take.  For homework, I got to draw shapes.  The funny thing is my shapes sucked but luckily he doesn't collect homework.  The professor is. . .hard to hear and sweaty.  lol. My second class was Western Civilations I at 1 o'clock.  That class is in a small lecture hall.  The professor seems a little bit like a prick.  That class, I believe, will be the hardest class of all the classes I'm taking this semester.  I'm not a strong history student as is. . .so. . .but then I had my intro to psych class.  My professor was almost 15 minutes late lol.  But she seems really cool and I think I'm really going to enjoy the class.  She seems like she really enjoys her job and I think that will be my favorite class as a result.  So yeah, that was my day :)

The Squirrel

So I was sitting outside today drinking a smoothie and waiting for my first class to start.  I was sitting on a stone bench in a very scenic area surrounded by trees and such.  As I was sitting there a pair of squirrels ran past me.  One kept going while the other stopped.  I'm almost positive that this particular squirrel was a female.  She stopped and stared at me for a while. . .crouched. . .looking as if she wanted to attack me.  Then she partially climbed a nearby tree which was even closer to where I was sitting.  While she was holding on to the side of the tree. . .she peed on it while staring at me. . .have you ever seen a squirrel pee before? I haven't.  I think she must have had babies in the tree or something because she continued to stare at me and though she moved throughout the tree she always kept me in sight and she always had this look on her face that was as if she was daring me to come closer.  I found this exchange between myself and the squirrel humorous so I thought I would share about it with you.  Then as I sat there, I heard something that sounded like a young girl whispering. . .it was actually a crow. . .crowing? lol yeah. . .I know I'm trippin` but I thought I would share this interesting experience with you today on my first day of college classes :P

Take A Leap

Jump in a puddle with me. 
Take my hand.
Close your eyes.
And just leap!!
It's not that deep.
Whats the worst that could happen?

Laugh with me as we soak up the sun.
Take a deep breath.
Wear your shades.
Let's chill.

Hide in a pile of leaves with me.
It's not cold yet.
I love the colors.
Want to jump out and scare someone?

Make a snow angel with me?
Let's reminisce as we lay on top of millions of flakes.
Don't start to cry, your tears might freeze.
Lets go snuggle inside and get warm.

Live your life with me. 
Experience things with me.
Take my hand.
Take a leap.

Moved to Oneonta

So yesterday, as I said in my last post, I moved to SUNY Oneonta.  I got here at 8 o'clock and was the first person here so I got my own bed (not in a bunk) I don't know if I told you this before or not, but I got tripled, but not a forced triple so the room is set up for three people and we have 3 of everything.  My parents helped me get all unpacked and then we went to walmart to pick up a few things that I forgot and then we went to lunch.  I met up with all the people I met at orientation, its really nice to see them again.  We did a lot of walking, but sadly I still have no idea where I'm going and I actually got lost last night on my way to Mills Hall. . .I think its a straight line actually. . .but I got lost :P  Maddie and I took the bus downtown last night to figure out what its all about, we found a few parties. . .but not quite what we were looking for.  We made it back around 12:30 and I took a shower and went to bed.  I've met a few interesting people so far since I've been there and I'm so excited to meet more and enjoy the new experiences.  I think I'm going to go pick up my books today and perhaps try to find a job.  Wish me luck <3

Anniversary

okay so I'm a little sad because I couldn't get my computer to connect to the internet yesterday here at Oneonta, but I finally got it working this morning.  I'm sad because yesterday was a very special day.  Yesterday was not only the day that I moved to Oneonta, but it was also the 1 year anniversary of my blog!!  So I was planning on posting this image:

But now its a little belated, but I still think its cool that I've had my blog for a year now.  So 1 year, 2449 views (in the last few months because I added that app late. . .I think I've had it since like May)  and 222 posts :) I think its been a pretty good year, a lot of interesting turns my life has taken since the start of my blog lol and I'm sure the next year will be the same and you will be right here with me to experience it. 

Going to College Tomorrow. . .Memories

So tomorrow morning I leave for college and it wasn't until today that it REALLY hit me.  I was driving in the car with two of my best friends, Kelsey and Gabby, when I realized that was going to be the last time we are all together to do that for a while. . .some of my friends from high school I may never see again, others I hope never to see again lol.  I thought about all the fun times we've had.  Like last night, will remain in my memory forever.  Kelsey and I drove to Gabby's work to surprise her.  I plan was to show up and hide in the back seat of her car and scare her when she gets in, well it was very light because she was parked by the building and she had nothing in her car for us to hide under so instead I moved her car (she had her doors unlocked and her keys in the ignition) to the other side of the parking lot where it was dark and she couldn't see it, then kelsey and I got back in my car to wait.  It took Gabby a little while to finally realize that her car was missing, but when she did she started to freak out.  Kelsey and I were laughing hysterically and Gabby heard us but she couldn't figure out who we were, then she finally said "Jocelyn?" and came over to the car.  She was still kinda freaking out and asking where we put her car.  It was too funny.  It was the best time I've had in a long time and we made Gabby's night.  I loved it, but at the same time I'm sad because I won't be able to do these types of things with them for a while.  Sure, I'm going to make new memories with new friends but its still sad because although the book isn't ending, one more chapter is, and a whole new one is starting tomorrow morning.  Am I scared?  yeah.  Am I anxious? yeah.  Am I excited?  yeah.  Am I sad?  yeah. . .i'm full of emotions right now.  Its weird to think that I am no longer in high school. . .that I'm MOVING OUT of my house. . .that I'm going to college. . .I graduated from a high school with 82 students in my graduating class.  I knew everyone.  Now I'm going to a school with thousands of students, and as of right now. . .I know a hand full.  I've never been good a goodbyes, or letting go of things, but right now I have to say goodbye to everyone and everything that has made up my life for the last 18 years and let go of it to take on a whole new. . .everything.  I drove by my high school today. . .so many memories.  I drove by that place where ashley, laura, and I went when we ditched school to get squished.  I drove by wintergreen park.  Then on my way home. . .I got pulled over because my dad's tail light is out (didn't get a ticket though) lol.  The point is that there are a lot of memories here and I just feel sad because I'm leaving the people that I've made them with.  Imma miss you guys.  Love you.  Suny Oneonta Class of 2014!