Mood: Energized
Weather: Probably cold
Something that is very hard to talk about is my body. I am very self conscious about my appearance to others and a lot of the time I don't feel beautiful because I don't like my body. I have struggled with my weight all my life and honestly now I think that I felt embarrassed to be dieting and exercising. . .like it meant acknowledging I have a "problem." But I guess I do. Not to mention I have asthma so when I did finally decide to run, I couldn't breath after about 5 minutes, which embarrassed me even more. I didn't make any new years resolutions really, just to make this the best year yet and to have a year worth living. I've decided I don't want to do it in this body anymore. So I've decided to start a diet and an exercise program, which are two of my least favorite words! This morning I got up at 8 (On a Saturday!!!) and found a cardio video on netflix. Its some Crunch: CardioSalsa video or something like that. I started out with 10 crunches (wow its been a while) and then did 15 minutes of the video, which was basically me repeating the first 5 minutes 3 times because by that time I could no longer keep up with the synchronized steps. Jesus, if you thought Latino's talked fast, you should see them salsa O.O I think I'm going to try to do this every other day for a while and eventually do more and more time. My goal is to drop 2 pants sizes, and once I do that I will buy myself a gym membership. I don't want to buy the membership and never go again so this is sort of a way for me to prove to myself I'm serious. Please wish me luck and I can use all the encouragement, prayers, and luck I can get!
