College: Nursing Program Part II

Mood: Pretty damn ticked off

Weather: Cloudy, windy, cool

So yesterday afternoon I got a phone call at home from one of my nursing instructors.  On the first test, if anyone scored below an 80 they had to come in either individually or in a group for remediation, which I did.  In doing so you were supposed to create a plan of things you were going to do to improve for the next test, which I did.  But then she wanted us to either come in or email her to let her know if we were actually doing that.  I received the email but I had chosen not to respond yet, not knowing there was some sort of due date.  So she called me telling me that I failed to come in and ignored her emails.  She was exceptionally rude over the phone and ended the conversation by saying she was going to tell my other instructor that I failed to come in for remediation for the first test and then hung up on me. . .I find that extremely unprofessional, not to mention I wasn't aware I was still in high school where my instructors chase me down to make sure I'm studying and doing my work.  I thought once you were in college doing those things were up to you.  I'm paying for the class and its my grade so if I want to study, that's my choice. . .I don't need my instructor calling me at home with an attitude to see if I'm studying and then hang up on me. . .If she really had to call me out she could have sent it via email, she didn't need to call my phone, at home, to be rude and hang up on me. . .very unprofessional and uncalled for.  I live in Schenectady, I work, and I attend two other classes aside from nursing.  I practically live at the college as is and all of this mandatory remediation is ridiculous.  I think its wonderful that they offer the programs but making it mandatory isn't necessary.  I did appear for the remediation but I shouldn't have to keep checking in to let them know if I'm studying or not. . .as I said, this isn't high school and it is my responsibility to do it on my own.  I'm done ranting now.  

College: Nursing Program

Alright. . .here it goes: I've decided I don't want to be a nurse.  I am not continuing this program following this semester.  I am way to stressed out all the time to do this for two years, my body aches, I have headaches and I just feel sick all the time.  Not to mention that no matter how hard I try I can't seem to do well.  I have to have a minimum of a 78 overall in order to get into nursing II. . .I honestly don't even see that happening.  Which is heartbreaking because I've never been unable to do well in a class and I work harder at this than I have ever worked for anything else.  I can't handle the stress, I don't want to be a nurse, and I highly doubt I will pass.  Truth is, I don't really know who I am or what I want to be when I grow up.  I hate admitting that and it scares me.  I'm almost 20. . .time is going by so fast and I'm sitting here spinning in circles.  I think I'm going to transfer to SCCC next semester for either liberal arts or business and get a full-time, or almost full-time job.  *sigh*

What I Learned In Nursing School Is. . .

 

Its not as bad as it looks, I swear.  :P We are learning about inserting catheters and we thought it would be better if we had an actual person instead of a penis sitting on a pillow :P I love how hands on nursing is lol.

College: Fall Semester 2011

So I started school again, and yes, this time as an official nursing major at FMCC :) I only have 2 real classes: Nursing science (5 hours of lecture, 3 hours of lab) and Anatomy and Physiology II (3 hours of lecture, 3 hours of lab).  I also have an online physical education class, but I don't start that until October.  Thus far I like my classes, don't love Wednesdays, but I like my professors or teachers or instructors or whatever the hell you want to call them.  Mrs. Rohrs for Nursing is very up beat and fun and I like her a lot and Ms. Macleod for A&P is also upbeat and bubbly and kinda quirky, but she scares me at the same time. . .I was spoiled for A&P 1 and she demands a lot more and we have a lot more work to do. . .Scares me.  But anyways, I'm hoping for a good, successful semester. . .As soon as I figure out what the hell I'm doing :)) 

Nursing Program

So. . .I am NOW accepted to the nursing program.  I was first rejected. . .which was heart breaking.  I had a nervous break down because it was such a let down and I hadn't a clue what I was going to do with my life (I believe there are previous posts about this).  A few weeks later  I received a letter saying I was being put on an "alternate list" and that anyone that had been accepted decided not to attend I would be accepted.  I didn't really expect to be accepted however because I figured lord only knows how many people are on this list and what not.  Well last friday I got my acceptance letter in the mail. . .At first I wasn't sure what I was going to do.  I was so let down when I was rejected I was, and still am, having a hard time getting excited about this.  But I thought about it and if nothing else its the most practical decision. . .so I accepted my acceptance :P  I'm not really excited, and no. . .I'm not really looking forward to it anymore.  I'm not totally sure why, I guess its because I was so let down.  I don't know.  But yes, I am going to FMCC for nursing starting this fall.  Wish me luck.

College: FMCC Edition Part VI

Mood: Dangerously Depressed

Weather: Snowy. . .fml

Well I got the worst news I could possibly get the osther day. . .I wasn't accepted into the nursing program at FMCC.  I had really been planning on being accepted, everyone around me was like "how couldn't you get accepted."  Well. . .I wasn't.  I don't know why I wasn't, they didn't say on the rejection letter.  I have good grades, but I think it was because they can only admit a certain number of students and its more than likely first come first serve.  But I don't know that for sure.  So my world came crashing down because of a piece of paper.  All of my plans and goals were based off of my acceptance, that was step one. . .everything went out the window.  I could no longer see more than 2 inches in front of me, I had no idea what I was going to do.  I broke down.  People kept telling me "its not the end of the world, its going to be okay."  No one really understands. . .that was the end of my world.  My future, my plans, my everything disappeared in a split second and I was supposed to be okay.  It was the end of the world, that world is gone.  Almost all the schools in the area only accept people into the program in the fall, so no matter where I went I would be waiting another year just to see if I'm accepted or not. . .I don't want to waste that much time only to be rejected again.  Not to mention its almost impossible for me to go to another school.  I commute to FMCC because my mom works like up the road so she just brings me to and from school everyday, I don't have a vehicle right now to drive myself somewhere.  Not to mention, I can't handle living on a college campus again.  I hate living with thousands of kids my age in a small building where you can't get away.  Not happening again.  Not to mention I've already transferred once, I'd rather not do it again, not after only one semester anyways.  So pretty much my only option is to find something else to do, and start building up my future again from scratch.  So yes, it was the end of the world, I have to start a new one to be destroyed.  I'm so depressed and miserable about this.  I already feel so shitty about going to FMCC.  I mean, I am happier there, I like the people better, and I'm doing well. . .but I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to a community college. . .I never wanted to be in a community college, I wanted to go to an Ivy league school, a private school, or at the very least a state school. . .but I'm at a community college with a 28% graduation rate and a day care, where most students didn't even graduate high school but got their GED.  It just kinda makes me feel bad about myself.  I don't think poorly about the people that go there, I had just always seen better for myself.  Its not a bad thing to go there. . .it just was for me.  Now I feel even worse because I'm at said community college and I can't even get into a program there. . .I just feel so shitty.  I still don't know what I'm going to do.  I'm a mess.  I feel like I'm drowning and I can't get my head above water.  I'm struggling, and trying to stay afloat, and I'm screaming but no one will come to help me.  What do you do?  If I keep fighting eventually I'm going to become too exausted and the water is just going to take me under. . .and if I don't fight, the water is still going to take me.  Either way I lose.  I just want to give up.  I don't see much for my future anymore, like I said. . .I can only see about 2 inches in front of myself and I don't like being in the dark.  Idk. . .

My Major

So. . .because I'm an extremely indecisive person that will just never be satisfied, I'm thinking about changing my major.  As my readers already know, I'm not really a fan of this whole college thing. . .so going to college until I'm 30 to get my doctorate in psychology doesn't really make a lot of sense.  So I've been sitting here pondering about the things I want out of life. . .and I've come to this conclusion:  I want to help people.  I don't want to be a doctor.  I don't want to be in school for the rest of my life.  I think I'm going to change my major to nursing!  Yes. . .my back up plans still hold.  If the option of dropping out of college to get married and have kids arises, damn straight I'm taking it.  In the meantime, I think I'm going to switch my major.  Thoughts?  Comments?  Suggestions?  Curse words of encouragement?