The Journey to Me: Religion and Beliefs

Mood: Confused, frustrated

Weather: Absolutely beautiful today! Warm! Felt Like Spring!

I'm sure that all of you know, well any of you that know me or follow my blog, that I am not very good at making decisions at sticking to them.  I've been to two colleges, two majors, not at either right now.  Lets not say how many "boyfriends" over the years :) K?  I may have changed my hair style and color a few times, and even the style of my clothes.  But hey, I'm getting there :) Well. . .another thing I can't seem to figure out and make a decision on is what I believe in.  I want so much to believe in God, and all the heroic stories of Jesus and his disciples.  But its hard for me.  I've expressed my doubts and people told me to read the bible.  Maybe I made a mistake in skipping right to revelations (sorry, I guess patience isn't my strong point either!) but it seemed too much like a science fiction novel.  I'm not trying to offend anyone here by saying this, just sayin'.  I'm just afraid of making the wrong decision.  Especially when apparently they are this important.  I remember hearing about Satan too!! and we sell costumes for him at The Costumer :) . . .Just Sayin'.  Anyways. . .I just have a hard time believing a lot of the things I'm told.  Perhaps part of it, I don't want to believe.  I don't understand how people of different beliefs feel just as strongly about their faith as anyone else, but only their religion is the right one.  Everyone else is wrong?  So because they were taught wrong they are going to hell?  I don't like that.  I don't care.  I just have a lot of problems with the whole religion thing in general.  I'm curious to know, without offending anyone, what do you believe?  Even if you're an atheist I would really love to hear what you believe and why.  If you are comfortable, post a comment below, and it can be anonymous.  Maybe it will help :) 

Things That Just Make Me Think. . .

I forgot to write about this a few weeks ago, but its been on my mind.  I was driving out to Chris's house to pick up my cactus when an elderly woman was in the middle of the road trying to push a riding lawn mower.  I got out and asked if she needed help. . .I tried to drive the thing across the road but I have no freaking clue how to work those things, so I helped her push it.  She told me that she was 90 and "couldn't do those sort of things anymore."  Then she said that when she was in need, god had sent her an angel (meaning me).  It made me think and its been on my mind.  All I did was help her push a lawn mower across the street, it wasn't all that big of a thing, but she explained it as god sending her an angel to help her.  This was similar to the time I had been waiting at the highschool for the bus, I think I was a sophomore and I had a wrist brace on for my tendonitis and this girl who is mentally disabled came up to me and asked what was wrong with my wrist.  A few weeks prior her mother's boyfriend had sexually assaulted her.  She didn't understand so she went around telling everyone what had happened and she moved a few weeks after.  But when I explained to her what was wrong with my wrist she said that she was sorry and she would pray for me.  A girl, who was mentally disabled and had just been raped by her mothers boyfriend was going to keep me in her prayers because my wrist was hurting. . .Things like this make me think and have an effect on me.  Like when I went to my cousins funeral, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do.  All I did was cry, and a huge chunk of me died.  When I walked up to the casket, my aunt was there giving hugs to everyone that came to the funeral.  When I gave her a hug she held me close in her arms and we both cried very hard and she told me that SHE wished SHE could take all MY pain away. . .Her daughter was dead and it was the funeral for her, her other daughter was in a coma and would never walk again, and her son had a broken leg, but she wanted to take all my pain away.  Her words still ring in my ears.  These are the reasons I believe in god.  These are the things that make me think and make me know there is something good and better than all of this.  This is just something I've been thinking about for a while so I thought I would share it with y'all. 

Starseeds

This video is very true.  When I was little I loved astrology.  I had books and even a little telescope.  The stars, planets, and the universe itself intrigued me so much.  I never felt like I fit in completely here and I have always wondered what my true purpose was.  I found out later that my purpose is to help people and to guide them.  I'm here to guide people while the earth changes and moves into the 5th dimension.  I'm here to save lives.  My dreams have often come true and I do always see things in people that most others don't see.  I cannot hear other peoples thoughts however, but I think instead people can hear mine in a way.  I do believe that my little sister can hear thoughts. 






I don't believe that in 2012 the world is going to end completely, instead I believe the world is going to change. When the dinosaur "world" ended, the world didn't end, it changed.  I think something like that is going to happen.  I believe that many will die, but the smart and the strong will survive.  I don't know what is going to happen to me, perhaps I will go back to where I came from.  Perhaps I will die.  Perhaps I will stay here for whatever challenges are to come afterward.  I believe that not only am I a starseed, but I'm also an Indigo which is someone that is here to help and to guide the humans.  I've never been "normal" and I know why.  This doesn't mean that I don't believe in god and what not, I just don't believe in everything the bible teaches.  I believe there is a god, and a higher power, but I'll save that for another blog. 



This I found very interesting when someone from http://www.starseeds.net/ sent me a link to this video.  It gave me chills the entire time while watching it.  I don't know much about it, but I found it very interesting.  There are people and "things" here and elsewhere guiding earth in its transition into the next dimension.  We aren't the first to change, I actually think we may be one of the last ones to do so. 



There isn't much to say about this video, it more or less speaks for itself.  This video also gave me chills and made me tear up and I'm not totally sure why.  This is why I'm here.  How can anyone frown upon something that is so good?



Well I think thats it for now, I will probably add more videos and information on this later, but if you're interested or if you feel some what compelled to know more I have provided a link for starseeds in this blog and it is also located on the right hand side of my page just scroll down a little.  Also, if you have time google 2012, 11:11, niberu, starseeds, rainbow warriors, indigos, dark sea scrolls.  I'm still learning myself but everytime I read something new I feel like I've already known a lot of it.  Sometimes I don't believe certain things, like the last video I posted I believe there is some truth in it but idk. . .I didn't have the same reaction to that one as I did the others until the very end.