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Monday, September 6, 2010

Rain

I sat outside in the rain today, and watched as the water droplets disappeared into the ground.  One second they were there, and the next they were just a dark spot.  It made me think of how when I was little, my mom told me that rain was angles crying.  I believed her.  I also believed her when she said she had eyes on the back of her head lol.  I believed everything anyone older than me told me.  Now. . .I believe the rain is cold.  I believe if I fall I'll get scraped, that if I don't eat for 24 hours I won't feel hungry anymore, that sun goes up every morning and goes down every night. . .I believe the world that I see, the world that I feel.  I felt the rain, and I saw it disappear.  Sometimes I wish I could be like rain. 

Katy Perry - Teenage Dream (you know all of the songs I put on here have a deeper meaning)

You think I'm pretty
Without any make-up on
You think I'm funny
When I tell the puch line wrong
I know you get me
So I'll let my walls come down, down

Before you met me
I was a wreck
But things were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my valentine, valentine

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

We drove to Cali
And got drunk on the beach
Got a motel and
Built a fort out of sheets
I finally found you
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love

We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

I might get your heart racing
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight

Let you put your hands on me
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

College. . .

You want to know the truth?  The real truth?  The truth is. . .I'm losing myself.  I've gotten to college with all these different types of people and I'm losing who I am. . .I'm honestly not sure who that is anymore.   Before I came here, I thought I knew. . .I thought I knew what made me happy and what I was all about, but now I haven't a freaking clue.  I don't know where I fit in, or what I'm supposed to be doing.  My head is spinning.  I thought I knew what I was doing. . .I thought the people I was hanging around with were my friends. . .I thought wrong.  Now. . .now it feels like its too late.  Everyone has their circle and all the spaces are filled. . .and here I am sitting on the outside looking in.  I feel empty, lost, and alone. . .I'm not sure I've ever felt like this before.  I had anticipated things working out so differently. . .I don't know what I did wrong. . .

Random Ranting :-/

What do you do when you can't pick yourself up?
What do you do when you reach out, and no one is there to take your hand?
What do you do when you're so lost you don't even know which way is up?
If you're alone in the world, and no one can see you. . .do you exist at all?