Saturday, February 27, 2010

Our Song ♥

and if for whatever reason you can't view it on here, here is the link : Two is Better Than One


Here are some more pix of Timmer that he either sent me or I took myself. 

I love this boy with all my heart and soul.  The only thing I would change is that he is so far away.  I would do anything to be like all my friends and be able to see and talk to their boyfriends when ever they please (except Cassie who is in a similar boat because her lover is in college in VA) Cant wait to be Jocelyn Marisa Manchester ♥♥♥

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Creature of the Night

I will compare you to a creature of the night.
Yes. . .that is how I will do it. 
Dark. . .mysterious. . .a secret.
shhhh don't tell.
Don't say a word.
I will obey the creature of the night.
Under his spell. . .his power. . .his control.
It isn't blood lust, no, its lust, desire, need.
Its like a drug, isn't it? 
Take me creature of the night. 
You are like the night sky.
Big. . .over powering, but beautiful.
Dispite the darkness, and impurities, you are beautiful.
Lit up by the stars and the moon.
Is it possible to be so bright and wonderful, and so dark?
You are.
I'm like a little girl gazing up at you with desire in my eyes.
Take me creature of the night.
I'm already under your power.
Innocence lost.
Identity doubled.
Heart torn.
I surrender.
Give my self, my blood, my body. 
Take whats left and what already belongs to someone else.
Take me.

My Visit With Tim

Well I'm back home from my trip to Missouri.  I only got to see my fiance for about 7.5 hours but I loved every second.  I got to touch him and kiss him and that is what mattered the most.  He looked so sexi in his uniform. . .Class A's. . .is that what they are called?? Well anyways he looked amazing.  Kissing him. . .omg it took my breath away.  Well his mom encouraged us to spend some "special alone time" in the bathroom *wink wink* which was right off of the hotel room (awkward) but we did. . .it was. . .fun haha.  He is just so sexi and I am so in love with him.  I get to talk to him just about every day now which makes me very happy, its the next best thing to seeing him.  The thing about our relationship. . .when i see him for the first time after a long wait its like falling in love at first sight every time.  When I have to go months at a time without seeing him, the moment that I do. . .I can't even put it into words what I feel.  My heart skips a beat and I'm instantly reminded of how much he means to me, and I swear I fall even more in love with him every time.  The bad thing. . .the good byes.  After falling even more in love with him and barely being able to breath every second I spend with him. . .my heart breaks.  I have to say goodbye and know that I won't see him again for a long time.  Do you know what that feels like?? Again. . .lack of words.  My heart breaks.  I can't choke back the tears, they just pour out.  But I swear it makes every moment I have with him that much better, and it makes the next meeting that much more special.  Our love is special because its always new.  Our time together is special because its so rare.  That is why I want to marry him, because Tim and I share something so special and so emotional. . .and I hate that I can't be with him every day, but absense makes the heart grow stronger and without the pain, I couldn't feel compassion. . .our relationship proves this. 

Timothy Evan Manchester Jr.  I love you more than anything.  You and me forever ♥

Wednesday, February 10, 2010


These were some pictures from when he came home for christmas, I just hadn't posted them.  :D

Valentines Day

So that very special holiday is coming up where you're supposed to show the one you love how much they mean to you.  It's not a bad thought seeing as most people don't show each other how much they mean on a daily basis.  I don't get to see my fiance on this special day but I do get to see him a few days later.  How do I show him how much he means to me?  How does anyone?  My friends mean the world and more to me.  I can't give them the world.  I love Tim in ways I can't even express. . .how do you show someone that?  This is where the phrase "its the thought that counts" comes in lol.  I think Tim already knows how much he means to me.  I know how much I mean to him and I only get to speak to him once a week. . .I still know.  I sometimes question how my friends feel, but for the most part I know they love me and I think they know that I love them.  Regardless, I think its a nice gesture to try and go out of your way to show it.  I got Tim a card, one of those that you open and theres music.  He likes those because he's in boot camp and everyone laughs.  I want to get him more but it is so hard to buy stuff for a guy especially when hes in boot camp.  I would get him candy, but he probably won't eat it for obvious reasons (training).  I would get him a teddy bear (is that gay?) but he wouldnt be able to really have it until march because they're not allowed to have possessions.  I know when I see him, I'm going to give him the biggest kiss and hug anyone has ever gotten.  That will be the best valentines gift for me.  Just to hug him again.  Thats all I want. 

Just Want To Know

Just want to know what you think of my blog set up, the gadgets I have, the color schemes and what not.  I've been putting new gadgets up over the last few months and added another one today.  Do you like them?? Let me know.  Love Comments from people that aren't just trying to start shit

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Untitled, the person its for will know what I'm talking about ♥

"You must hate me..." You have no idea.  Did you know that hate is very closely related to love?  Hate is a very strong emotion which involves deep concern for someone else.  Am I wrong?  And what is love?  Love is a bit more intense yes, and harder to explain but it is also a very strong emotion which involves deep concern for someone else.  Regardless, I'm going off on a tangent here.  I wonder how they are going to grow up.  You know who I'm talking about.  I wonder whats going to happen on their first date.  I wonder if she will call me crying when she gets dumped.  Will he brag about the first date he "gets some."  I worry about if the word will truely end in 2012, not because I'm scared of dying, but because I'm scared they won't get to experience life. . .I want them to go to prom, graduate, get married.  I want to see it.  I think about these things often.  I watch them grow and I brag about them constantly because of how smart they are, how attractive they are. . .I don't say these things out loud. . .why?  I'm not sure.  I just don't.  Never came up.  There is so much you don't understand.  So much you just don't know.  Thats not your fault.  I've been through so much.  I've seen such things.  I've experienced much worse.  I don't say it out loud because its hard on me to say it, to write it, to remember. . .and I don't want to share that with anyone else.  I just want to protect other people from the things I've been through.  You don't seem to understand that. . .because you don't know what it is I've seen.  Lets keep it that way.  Don't point fingers in blame when you don't understand whoever.  Instead, just ask.  Don't yell, shhhh.  There is so much you don't see, and I try not to ruffle feathers.  Just accept that. 

Mount Everest

I want to climb mount everest with nothing but myself. 
I want to take on the mountain.
I want to feel the cold rocks as I put my fingers in the nooks.
I want to cry as I hoist myself up the steep slopes.
By the time I get to the top I will feel like I'm about to die. 
But at least I will have done it.
I want to climb mount everest even if it takes me a lifetime. 
It will be a lifetime of success. 
The mountain will be my life, my provider, and perhaps my death.
I take the challenge presented to me by mount everest. 
As of today, mount everest is my enemy.
But perhaps tomorrow, it will be my savior.

9 days

In 9 days I will be in Missouri.  In 9 days I get to hug him.  In 9 days I get to kiss him.  In 9 days I am going to burst into tears at the sight of him.  In 9 days I get to see the man I fell in love with months ago graduate from boot camp.  In 9 days I get to see the love of my life for the first time in over a month.  I've had a lot of mixed feelings about seeing him.  Every army girlfriend knows exactly what I mean by this.  Every time you see your guy for the first time in a long time you wonder: Is he going to be the same?  Will he still love me like he used to?  What do I wear? lol I'm serious about the last one too.  I know that every time I see him after not seeing him for an extended time I feel like I have to get reaquainted with him.  Like I have to get to know him again.  So far he's been the same each time, and he always loves me more than the last.  Its easy to get back in the swing of things which makes good bye that much harder.  This probably won't be the case when he gets deployed. . .I don't think he will be truely the same.  He told me the day he came back the last time that for every soldier there is an even stronger woman waiting back at home.  I have to be that stronger woman. . .its hard. 

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Winterball 2010

So winterball was pretty amazing this year.  Way better than any other year if I do say so.  Thats probably because I had such a sexi date this year ;) you know who you are hehe.  So I took a bunch of pics and I thought I would show y'all.  Enjoy x