Saturday, September 11, 2010

Home for the Weekend

So I went home this weekend to go to a football game and see some friends and family.  I love seeing my friends from highschool and I miss them to death.  After the football game this evening a bunch of my friends and I decided to get slushies like we used to.  As we were driving through town and I looked around I felt. . .lost.  I went home because I've been so depressed at college and I feel like I don't quite fit in yet, but when I got home. . .I felt like I didn't really belong there either anymore.  I went to the football game and was amazed at all the faces I didn't know and I only graduated a few months ago.  Last year, I knew everyone.  Then, as I was driving thought town and seeing all the different places, I started remembering things, moments, events I shared with people in these places. . .but remembered that I don't live here anymore and everything here is JUST memories.  I had a blast with my friends, it was the best night I've had probably since I left for college and I was actually sober. . .but at the same time I feel like we're all going in different directions now and we all have new lives, we're no longer like puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly.  It makes me sad because. . .I have no idea where I fit.  I don't feel like I fit in at college and know my place there, and I no longer fit in at home. . .where do I belong?  I hate feeling like this. . .I hate being so lost. . .I want to go back to being happy, and enjoying every minute of life with the people that I love most.  I know you're all probably getting sick of my melodramatic, depressing posts so I promise I'll pick up the beat soon. . .just need to vent I guess.