Friday, April 2, 2010

I am a metaphore

I am a butterfly, and my soul is a rainbow. 
I am a star, and my heart is a fire.
I am a waterfall, and my eyes are a window.
I am a metaphore, but my soul will forever be a hyperbole.


In the last month I have realized that there is a box.  Yes a box.  Where all (most) teenagers live.  In this box, as far as relationships go, there is no such thing as Dating.  You are either in a relationship or you're not.  There is no in between called dating and the majority of my friends and fellow students do not grasp the concept.  They condemn me because I have, in fact, been dating.  I have been seeing a few different people since I've split up with Tim.  One friend in particular called me a slut, when I have done really nothing physically with any of the guys I've been out with.  There are really only 2 guys that I've been really seeing.  I went on one date with a bible humper and that was the last of him and I've been seeing 2 guys for the last few weeks.  I'm not looking to get into a relationship just yet.  I'm not 100% sure what I'm doing as far as college, I'm just out of an "engagement", and I just want to date and have fun and get to know different personalities before I get into another serious relationship.  So while dating: there is no committment, and the option on both sides to see other people. . .is that really that hard of a concept to grasp in high school?? I'm 18 years old and a senior. . .why is that so horrible?? I'm not having sex with every guy I go out with. . .so what the hell?? Whats wrong with dating??  Why don't any (most any) of my friends get this??  GAH CONFUSION!!!

College II

Well its pretty much set in stone that I am going to Oneonta. . .heres my next problem. . .I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I WANT TO DO FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!!!!  I don't really want to be a teacher, maybe a psychologist? communications? humanities?  I have no idea.  I know what I like. . .but no stable career (that I know of) supports what I enjoy. I enjoy art, and being creative, and working with people, and most of all I want to help people and influence someone's life. . .any ideas?? Well i've spent a large portion of today googling college majors and looking at the ones that Oneonta offers. . .psychology sounds appealing because I can do so much with it.  Thats the opposite for education because if I major in education I don't really have a choice but to become a teacher. . .with a psychology major I at least have options.  I was reading the possible job options for a communications major and there are a lot of options there as well.  I hate it.  Its so stressful.  All my life I've "known" what I wanted to do, or at least thought I did. . .and had an idea.  Now that its the time that I more or less NEED to know. . .I haven't the slightest clue.  It bothers me that I don't know. . .its not like me not to know.  *sigh*