Friday, June 8, 2012


To me, life is like a roller coaster.  Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down, and sometimes you just want to puke.  Now that I am an adult, I've met my soulmate, moved out of my parents house, and have started making a life for myself and my future husband I feel like I have moved on to the second phase of my life.  I've had a blog for 3 years now, three long, intense years.  I did a lot of growing up in that time and though a lot of good has come of it, I would prefer to leave my past where it belongs.  It has taken me a long time to feel as though I can move on, and I have to say its a wonderful feeling.  In a lot of ways I have become an entirely different person, and I am happy with that.  My past has made me who I am, but there is a lot of pain there as well.  It's just time to let it all go and start fresh :)  That being said, I am going to END this blog and start a new one else where.  I am going to make that one a lot more private so I may not advertise it.  But there are about 3 years of posts here that can still be read :)  Enjoy the mess that was my life!  So here is to a new chapter, a new beginning, a new life!

Saturday, March 31, 2012

Paul Mitchell The School

So I applied to Paul Mitchell The School for Cosmetology and today I took a tour and had an interview with admissions.  As soon as I walked in the building I could feel the energy and the excitement.  As long as I'm accepted I will start at the end of June.  It is a 7.5 month program for $10,000.  So I'm pretty much committed to sticking this one out. . .no refunds on a loan.  :P  But I'm really excited and I think I'm going to like this one.  When I saw that most of the girls had tattoos, piercings, and crazy colored hair I knew I would fit right in.  Perhaps I'll even get another piercing, because I do miss them OH SO MUCH sometimes :)  I can't wait to start :)))

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The Hunger Games

I hadn't heard about The Hunger Games prior to last Friday.  Some coworkers told me about it and so I got the book on Saturday.  I read it in 3 days, I couldn't put it down.  I can't wait to see the movie.  When I went home this weekend I was surprised to find out that my 11 year old brother is also reading the book.  I hope he finishes it soon so we can talk about it together :) Great book, highly recommend it!

Textbooks for Sale

I have a bunch of textbooks from college that I either wasn't able to return, or was no longer attending that school by that time :P Anyways here are most of the ones that I have if you're interested :)

Western Civilizations 
by Judith G. Coffin and Robert C. Stacy
16th edition, volume 1
great condition

Perspectives from the Past
Primary Sources in Western Civilizations
Fourth Edition
Volume 1
by James M. Brophy, Joshua Cole, Steven Epstein, John Robertson, Thomas Max Safley
(Comes with The Praise of Folly and Other Writings by Desiderius Erasmus 978-0-393-95749-5) 

by Daniel L. Schacter, Daniel T. Gilbert, and Daniel M. Wegner
Worth Publishers
Looks Brand New, I never opened the book :P 

Fundamentals of Nursing
7th Edition
by Patricia A. Potter & Anne Griffin Perry
great condition

Fundamentals of Nursing
Study Guide and Skills Performance Checklist
7th Edition
by Potter and Perry
great condition

Clinical Nursing Skills & Techniques
(Comes with 6 disks for your PC and DVD player. Shows basic, Intermediate, and Advanced nursing skills 978-0-323-05292-4) 
7th Edition
by Potter & Perry
great condition

If you buy all three of the above nursing books by Potter and Perry, I'll sell the set for $600. 

I have a 5 books set for ATI, nursing education. These books include: 

Fundamentals For Nursing
Edition 7.0

RN Pharmacology For Nursing
Edition 5.0

Nutrition For Nursing 
Edition 4.0

Nursing Leadership and Management
Edition 5.0

Quest For Academic Success 1-933107-01-4
These 5 have also never been opened and I will sell the set for $20

Calculate with Confidence
5th Edition
by Deborah Gray Morris
brand new, I never opened it. 

Publication Manual 
of the American Psychological Association
6th Edition
great condition

Soc 2010
by Jon Witt

Human Anatomy and Physiology
8th Edition
by Elaine M. Marieb & Katja N. Hoehn
this is one of the books that got slightly water damaged, the only thing that happened was that the pages got a little crinkled. You can read everything just fine and the book cover is just fine. The book also comes with a disk for access to CourseCompass 978-0-321-57563-0. 

A Brief Atlas of the Human Body
2nd Edition
(Comes with disk: Interactive Physiology, 10-System Suite 978-0-8053-6117-9) 
by Hutchinson, Mallatt, Marieb, and Wilhelm
great condition, looks brand new

PhysioEx 8.0
for Human Physiology 
by Stabler, Smith , Peterson, and Lokuta
Also comes with a disk so you can try some of the exercises on your computer. The book is still in its plastic wrapping. 

Get Ready for A&P
2nd Edition
by Lori K. Garrett
New, but wrapping was removed

A Survey of Mathematics With Applications
8th Edition
by Angel, Abbott, and Runde

The Enjoyment of Theatre
8th Edition
by Jim Patterson, Jim Hunger, Patti P. Gillespie, Kenneth M. Cameron 
Great condition!

Introduction to Philosophy
Classical and Contemporary Readings
4th Edition
by John Perry, Michael Bratman, John Martin Fisher. 
Great condition!!
Comes with:
and the 1868 Speach on Capital Punishment 
2nd Edition 
by John Stuart Mill
by Plato

Nurse's Pocket Guide
Edition 12
by Marilynn E. Doenges, Mary Frances Moorhouse, and Alice C. Murr

Tabler's 21 Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary 
With Disk
Brand New

Davis's Drug Guide for Nurses 
12th Edition
by Judith Hopfer Deglin, April Hazard Vallerand, and Cynthia A. Sanoski
This book was also water damaged, pretty badly actually. Everything is still legible but the pages are crinkled and the book has swelled . 

Sunday, March 25, 2012

This is Genevieve

So yes, we got a rat, but she's cute right??  We named her Genevieve, and we call her Jenny for short.  She loves pasta, crackers, and human.  Jack adores her too.  :) 

Friday, March 9, 2012


My new little girl is very shy.  We just adopted her today and she is adjusting so I want to wait a few days before I terrorize her with photos, and I want to have photos when I tell you what she is and what her name is.  I am just so excited about her and love her so much already I had to post something :)  She is so sweet and adorable :))  Pictures coming soon <3 

Thursday, March 1, 2012


I can't look at it anymore.
And pretend to be okay.
It still hurts just the same.
I just want to make you go away.
The past still haunts me.
Like a blood stain on the carpet.
I can't get you out of my head.
I wish we never met.
If I close my eyes,
and pretend you're not there.
Maybe the pain will stop.
There's not much more I can bear.
I just want to forget the past.
And forget you as well.
I'm sick of hurting all the time.
Though I'm sure you couldn't tell.

It Was You

I remember smoking those black cigarettes
and hanging out at the football games.
Life was so simple, so boring.
And so Plain.
I always knew there was something more out there.
Something for me to do.
But if you had asked me then, I never would have guessed. . .
It was you.
So take this journey with me.
My hero, my darling, my other half.
Let's make this a story worth telling.
As you walk me down this bumpy path.
Walk with me, I ask you please.
Until we can walk no more.
I can't wait to share my life with you.
I am forever yours.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Angry Birds

I recently bought a smartphone and have been introduced to a whole new world of apps and such.  I just have one thing to say :

I'm hooked.  Sorry for such a short post, but I gotta get back to playing Angry Birds.  L8r. 

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Dear CJ,

I love you with all of my heart!  It will probably take you weeks to see this, but when you do I know it will make you smile so I can wait :)  
You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, I am just sorry it took me so long to realize it.  We may be very different people, but I think we compliment each other just fine ;) 
I just want to put in writing, to always remind you, that: I care about you so much, I love our life and our home together, I look forward to our future, I envy and admire your work ethic, your patience, and your genuine sincerity.  
You may drive me absolutely crazy sometimes, but there is never a dull moment and every day brings something new to experience together :)  

Here's to the next 8 months. 
<3 :-* 

The Journey to Me: My Blog

I'm contemplating deleting this blog. . .no worries.  I plan to start a new blog, perhaps with a slightly different theme.  
Lately, I've been all about letting go of my past and recreating myself into who I want to be.  This hasn't really been entirely easy or fun.  Especially since its still pretty foggy in here.  But I've done a lot of changing: gotten rid of my piercings, moved to cities, changed jobs, deleted facebook, changed my number, etc.  I've had this blog for over two years now.  There is a lot of my in this blog. . .which makes me want to delete it and start over, but it also makes me want to keep it.  So another possibility is that I will "end" this blog, and start another one.  An end to one part of my life, and the start of another. :) Comments are appreciated :) 

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Facebook and Such Part II

Well I did it, just like I said I would.  I got my new phone today, which I LOVE!!!!! I got a new number, and I changed the number on my old phone and gave it to CJ.  Then. . .I updated my status one last time *tear* and I deleted facebook.  Mark (Zuckerburg), darling. . .don't take it personal.  You know I still LOVE YOU. . .ahem.  Just sayin ;)  But I have to say it was hard to do.  I've had my facebook for 4 years now, its so sad to say that it has become a BIG part of my life.  How sad is that??  Well I can't say for sure that I will never go back.  But I'm going to try to go AS LONG AS I CAN without my beloved Facebook.  It makes me self conscious. . .it makes me worry and care what other people think.  When I shouldn't.  I don't want to see how happy or how sad everyone else is, most of the people I don't even talk to.  Two days ago I had 850 friends.  Earlier today, after deleting a couple hundred people that I don't actually talk to, I still had 281 people left.  That's a lot of people to keep track of and worry about.  I don't want to do it, and I don't want that many people knowing whats going on in my tornado of a life.  I want to worry about Cj, and Jack, and myself for a while.  I'll keep ya posted here.  

Monday, February 13, 2012

Valentine's Day

I got my Valentine's Day present early because after CJ bought it he just couldn't wait to give it to me lol <3  He had it sitting on the kitchen counter all wrapped up and as soon as I saw it I said, "You got me a bracelet?!?" He was astounded that I could tell what it was just by looking at the box haha.  But I opened it and its a beautiful white gold and diamond bracelet from Kay.  <3

Facebook and Such

Within the next few days I am going to be getting a new phone and changing my number.  I am also going to be deleting my facebook.  I have created a like page for my blog and I will continue with that, but I don't want a personal one anymore.  The people I frequently talk to and those I want to be able to get a hold of me will get my  new number so if you want to make sure you are one of those people I would suggest you make sure I have you number.  I will still have my email and use my messengers and what not. . .just no more facebook.  But feel free to like this blog on facebook.  I have a like button at the bottom of the page.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The One That Got Away - Katy Perry

**I had nothing to do with the making of this song or video**

Monday, February 6, 2012

Ranting About Women and Such!

Mood:  Thoughtful
Weather: Cold, but sunny and nice :) 

I've been thinking about it, and stewing about it. . .so I'm just going to say it.  I blame the progressive downward fall of American Society on WOMEN JOINING THE WORKFORCE.  
Before women joined the workforce they were more dependent on their husbands, not only financially but he was part of the foundation of the family.  Women were choosier with who they married because it wasn't like they had the easy option of divorce.  They couldn't support themselves let alone a family so marriages stayed together.  
Women also had more time.  They had time to cook three whole meals a day instead of making something quick they can eat on the road or fix before everyone gets home for dinner.  So meals were healthier thus lessening obesity and other related diseases.  
They also had more time to teach children important lessons in home making, cooking, morality, etc.  They are around to set an example and keep up their surroundings.  
Granted there are a lot more factors; technology, media, etc.  But I think it all started with this, and now its no longer a decision if a woman wants to work or stay at home, they have to work in order to make ends meet.  Some even make more money than their husbands!!!  Which is empowering women, which is great! All about an empowered woman, but I think its pussifying men!  Its contradicting the traditional values people once had and confusing children.  
Women joining the workforce, in my opinion, has lead to the breakdown of the family.  Marriage is no longer valued, and neither is the central family.  This is leading to a breakdown of values, and respect for each other and ourselves.  
They aren't around as often to rear children and when they are they are trying to do the duties of women in the short time they have.  So they are more stressed out. . .I think you see where I'm going with this. . .stress, (we've all seen snapped right?), etc.  
I don't have any suggestions on fixing this.  Not in this economy.  I'm just sayin. . .But do you see where I'm coming from here?? Anyone?? Anyone??  I would love to be a homemaker.  To perfect cooking, and cleaning. . .maybe even the dreaded sewing!!!!  And know that I've been there for every minute possible for my kids and fed them properly and always kept a clean home.  Am I alone here?? Do women no longer want this for their families?? Or is it that we're just so far in the hole we can't get back out?? 

Again, these opinions are my own, the picture is not!  And I never intend to offend!

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

What Do You Want - Jerrod Niemann (Again, I had nothing to do with the making of this video)

Why'd you call me today with nothing new to say?
You pretend it's just hello, but you know what it does to me to see your number on the phone.
Now tell me, what do you want? What do you want? What do you want from me?
Are you tryin' to bring back the tears or just the memories?
You keep takin' me back, takin' me back where I've already been.
When we hang up it's almost like I'm losing you again.
Can't you see? What do you want, What do you want from me?

I get so tired of living like this.
I don't have the time, neither do my friends,
To stay up at night, to pull me through,
And to find the things to keep my mind off of you.

So, now tell me, what do you want? What do you want? What do you want from me?
Did you call to say you've found someone and I'm a used- to- be.
You keep takin' me back, takin' me back where I've already been.
If you've moved on why does it feel like I'm losing you again?
Can't you see? So what do you want? What do you want from me?

What do you want me to say?
That I'm content? That I'm on the fence? That I wish you would've stayed?
Oh baby what do you want, what do you want, what do you want from me?
To come here and make love tonight cause you're feelin' lonely.
You keep takin' me back, takin' me back where I've already been.
When we wake up and say goodbye it's like I'm losing you again.
Can't you see? So what do you want, what do you want from me?
What do you want, what do you want from me?

The Journey to Me: Religion and Beliefs

Mood: Confused, frustrated
Weather: Absolutely beautiful today! Warm! Felt Like Spring!

I'm sure that all of you know, well any of you that know me or follow my blog, that I am not very good at making decisions at sticking to them.  I've been to two colleges, two majors, not at either right now.  Lets not say how many "boyfriends" over the years :) K?  I may have changed my hair style and color a few times, and even the style of my clothes.  But hey, I'm getting there :) Well. . .another thing I can't seem to figure out and make a decision on is what I believe in.  I want so much to believe in God, and all the heroic stories of Jesus and his disciples.  But its hard for me.  I've expressed my doubts and people told me to read the bible.  Maybe I made a mistake in skipping right to revelations (sorry, I guess patience isn't my strong point either!) but it seemed too much like a science fiction novel.  I'm not trying to offend anyone here by saying this, just sayin'.  I'm just afraid of making the wrong decision.  Especially when apparently they are this important.  I remember hearing about Satan too!! and we sell costumes for him at The Costumer :) . . .Just Sayin'.  Anyways. . .I just have a hard time believing a lot of the things I'm told.  Perhaps part of it, I don't want to believe.  I don't understand how people of different beliefs feel just as strongly about their faith as anyone else, but only their religion is the right one.  Everyone else is wrong?  So because they were taught wrong they are going to hell?  I don't like that.  I don't care.  I just have a lot of problems with the whole religion thing in general.  I'm curious to know, without offending anyone, what do you believe?  Even if you're an atheist I would really love to hear what you believe and why.  If you are comfortable, post a comment below, and it can be anonymous.  Maybe it will help :) 

Monday, January 23, 2012

My Birthday

Mood: Happy :) 
Weather: Winter in NY

I am officially 20 years old and no longer a teenager.  As the years pass, my birthdays are meaning less and becoming less significant.  Perhaps I'll feel differently next year ;)  I'm not sure if I had mentioned this on here before, but CJ's birthday was the day before mine and he is now 22.  I made my first meatloaf for his birthday and it came out great :)  We spent the weekend with our friends and family and its been great :) 

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Jessie's 21st Birthday

I'm a little late posting about this, seeing as her birthday was on January 4th, but I didn't know what to say.  Cj, Cyndi, and I went to the cemetery, like I normally do, to celebrate her birthday.  We were only there a few minutes before another car pulled up behind us. . .and it was her mother.  I hadn't seen Lori since the funeral, and had only spoken to her maybe twice since.  It was awkward.  I was embarrassed.  There were so many things I wanted to say, but couldn't.  I didn't know what to say or do, so we just left.  I hugged her and said hello, but that was all I could really manage.  It was painful, though I'm not completely sure why.  Perhaps it just stirred up some old feelings.  I haven't posted about this yet because I still don't know what to say other than it was an awkward and painful experience that I wish I could go back and redo.
I can't believe Jessie would have been 21. . .in my memory she will always be 16.  I wish she was still here for us to celebrate our birthdays' together like we did when we were little.  I miss you Jess.  RIP. 1/4/91-11/06/07

Friday, January 13, 2012

Just Kiss Me

Wait a second. 
Don't speak.
For words are always all wrong.
Close your eyes.
They deceive you.

Wait a minute.
Don't touch me.
I might die if you do.
My heart skips beats,
And I can't seem to breath.

Stay the night.
I couldn't stand for you to leave.
Not again.  
Don't think.
It only makes things harder.
Shh.  Just kiss me.

One more week, 
That's all I ask for.  
Listen to your heart.
It knows I love you.
Mine told me your secret too.

A month,
A year,
A decade.
I'll wait.
Just let me feel your heart as it skips a beat.
Hold me, when you take my breath away.
And please, just kiss me.

Monday, January 9, 2012

The Journey To Me: My Body Part II

Just to give you an idea of that video I was telling you about.  (I did not make this video, I found it on youtube)

Saturday, January 7, 2012

The Journey To Me: My Body

Mood: Energized
Weather: Probably cold

Something that is very hard to talk about is my body.  I am very self conscious about my appearance to others and a lot of the time I don't feel beautiful because I don't like my body.  I have struggled with my weight all my life and honestly now I think that I felt embarrassed to be dieting and exercising. . .like it meant acknowledging I have a "problem."  But I guess I do.  Not to mention I have asthma so when I did finally decide to run, I couldn't breath after about 5 minutes, which embarrassed me even more.  I didn't make any new years resolutions really, just to make this the best year yet and to have a year worth living.  I've decided I don't want to do it in this body anymore.  So I've decided to start a diet and an exercise program, which are two of my least favorite words!  This morning I got up at 8 (On a Saturday!!!) and found a cardio video on netflix.  Its some Crunch: CardioSalsa video or something like that.  I started out with 10 crunches (wow its been a while) and then did 15 minutes of the video, which was basically me repeating the first 5 minutes 3 times because by that time I could no longer keep up with the synchronized steps.  Jesus, if you thought Latino's talked fast, you should see them salsa O.O  I think I'm going to try to do this every other day for a while and eventually do more and more time.  My goal is to drop 2 pants sizes, and once I do that I will buy myself a gym membership.  I don't want to buy the membership and never go again so this is sort of a way for me to prove to myself I'm serious.  Please wish me luck and I can use all the encouragement, prayers, and luck I can get!