Rain

I sat outside in the rain today, and watched as the water droplets disappeared into the ground.  One second they were there, and the next they were just a dark spot.  It made me think of how when I was little, my mom told me that rain was angles crying.  I believed her.  I also believed her when she said she had eyes on the back of her head lol.  I believed everything anyone older than me told me.  Now. . .I believe the rain is cold.  I believe if I fall I'll get scraped, that if I don't eat for 24 hours I won't feel hungry anymore, that sun goes up every morning and goes down every night. . .I believe the world that I see, the world that I feel.  I felt the rain, and I saw it disappear.  Sometimes I wish I could be like rain. 

Katy Perry - Teenage Dream (you know all of the songs I put on here have a deeper meaning)

You think I'm pretty
Without any make-up on
You think I'm funny
When I tell the puch line wrong
I know you get me
So I'll let my walls come down, down

Before you met me
I was a wreck
But things were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my valentine, valentine

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

We drove to Cali
And got drunk on the beach
Got a motel and
Built a fort out of sheets
I finally found you
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love

We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

I might get your heart racing
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight

Let you put your hands on me
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

College. . .

You want to know the truth?  The real truth?  The truth is. . .I'm losing myself.  I've gotten to college with all these different types of people and I'm losing who I am. . .I'm honestly not sure who that is anymore.   Before I came here, I thought I knew. . .I thought I knew what made me happy and what I was all about, but now I haven't a freaking clue.  I don't know where I fit in, or what I'm supposed to be doing.  My head is spinning.  I thought I knew what I was doing. . .I thought the people I was hanging around with were my friends. . .I thought wrong.  Now. . .now it feels like its too late.  Everyone has their circle and all the spaces are filled. . .and here I am sitting on the outside looking in.  I feel empty, lost, and alone. . .I'm not sure I've ever felt like this before.  I had anticipated things working out so differently. . .I don't know what I did wrong. . .

Random Ranting :-/

What do you do when you can't pick yourself up?
What do you do when you reach out, and no one is there to take your hand?
What do you do when you're so lost you don't even know which way is up?
If you're alone in the world, and no one can see you. . .do you exist at all?

When I Close My Eyes

When I close my eyes, I slip into a beautiful world.  One where its always sunset.  The birds are flying into the heavens, the breeze lightly moves my hair, and the earth is a beautiful green.  There is music in the distance, and it makes you smile. 
When I close my eyes, we're walking side by side, holding hands.  I don't have to breathe because you've already taken that away and you look at me in that special way, and I get that feeling deep inside that makes me want to squirm.
When I close my eyes, I never want to open them.  Everything is too perfect in this hidden world behind my eyelids.  I did everything right the first time, and don't wish I could go back and fix it.
When I open my eyes, I slide right back into reality.  The sunset is gone and I start to breathe again. . .

Can you find me?

I am a secret. 
An story not yet told.
A whisper.
I hide in open spaces.
Where you cannot see me.
I scream in the silence.
When you cannot hear me.
You search in the dark, behind every nook and cranny.
You find nothing because you look with your eyes.

The Image Speaks For Itself

First Day of Classes

So today was my first day of classes here at SUNY Oneonta.  I think I have already told you this, but if not, I have the best schedule EVER.  My earliest class is noon and my latest class ends at 5:15!!! And on fridays, I'm done at 1:50.  Anywho, today I started out my day with Math for the Liberal Arts.  I have a feeling that is going to be the easiest class I have ever taken and will ever take.  For homework, I got to draw shapes.  The funny thing is my shapes sucked but luckily he doesn't collect homework.  The professor is. . .hard to hear and sweaty.  lol. My second class was Western Civilations I at 1 o'clock.  That class is in a small lecture hall.  The professor seems a little bit like a prick.  That class, I believe, will be the hardest class of all the classes I'm taking this semester.  I'm not a strong history student as is. . .so. . .but then I had my intro to psych class.  My professor was almost 15 minutes late lol.  But she seems really cool and I think I'm really going to enjoy the class.  She seems like she really enjoys her job and I think that will be my favorite class as a result.  So yeah, that was my day :)

The Squirrel

So I was sitting outside today drinking a smoothie and waiting for my first class to start.  I was sitting on a stone bench in a very scenic area surrounded by trees and such.  As I was sitting there a pair of squirrels ran past me.  One kept going while the other stopped.  I'm almost positive that this particular squirrel was a female.  She stopped and stared at me for a while. . .crouched. . .looking as if she wanted to attack me.  Then she partially climbed a nearby tree which was even closer to where I was sitting.  While she was holding on to the side of the tree. . .she peed on it while staring at me. . .have you ever seen a squirrel pee before? I haven't.  I think she must have had babies in the tree or something because she continued to stare at me and though she moved throughout the tree she always kept me in sight and she always had this look on her face that was as if she was daring me to come closer.  I found this exchange between myself and the squirrel humorous so I thought I would share about it with you.  Then as I sat there, I heard something that sounded like a young girl whispering. . .it was actually a crow. . .crowing? lol yeah. . .I know I'm trippin` but I thought I would share this interesting experience with you today on my first day of college classes :P

Take A Leap

Jump in a puddle with me. 
Take my hand.
Close your eyes.
And just leap!!
It's not that deep.
Whats the worst that could happen?

Laugh with me as we soak up the sun.
Take a deep breath.
Wear your shades.
Let's chill.

Hide in a pile of leaves with me.
It's not cold yet.
I love the colors.
Want to jump out and scare someone?

Make a snow angel with me?
Let's reminisce as we lay on top of millions of flakes.
Don't start to cry, your tears might freeze.
Lets go snuggle inside and get warm.

Live your life with me. 
Experience things with me.
Take my hand.
Take a leap.