Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Untitled, the person its for will know what I'm talking about ♥

"You must hate me..." You have no idea.  Did you know that hate is very closely related to love?  Hate is a very strong emotion which involves deep concern for someone else.  Am I wrong?  And what is love?  Love is a bit more intense yes, and harder to explain but it is also a very strong emotion which involves deep concern for someone else.  Regardless, I'm going off on a tangent here.  I wonder how they are going to grow up.  You know who I'm talking about.  I wonder whats going to happen on their first date.  I wonder if she will call me crying when she gets dumped.  Will he brag about the first date he "gets some."  I worry about if the word will truely end in 2012, not because I'm scared of dying, but because I'm scared they won't get to experience life. . .I want them to go to prom, graduate, get married.  I want to see it.  I think about these things often.  I watch them grow and I brag about them constantly because of how smart they are, how attractive they are. . .I don't say these things out loud. . .why?  I'm not sure.  I just don't.  Never came up.  There is so much you don't understand.  So much you just don't know.  Thats not your fault.  I've been through so much.  I've seen such things.  I've experienced much worse.  I don't say it out loud because its hard on me to say it, to write it, to remember. . .and I don't want to share that with anyone else.  I just want to protect other people from the things I've been through.  You don't seem to understand that. . .because you don't know what it is I've seen.  Lets keep it that way.  Don't point fingers in blame when you don't understand whoever.  Instead, just ask.  Don't yell, shhhh.  There is so much you don't see, and I try not to ruffle feathers.  Just accept that. 

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