Disappear

I want to disappear.
I want to vanish.
I just want to escape from the world for just a few minutes.
I just need a break.
I need a second to breathe.
Sometimes its too much.
Other times its not enough.
I need a break.
I need to break away.

UGH!!!

UGH I'M SUFFERING FROM WRITERS BLOCK AND IT SUCKS!!!! I'M TRYING TO WRITE A FREAKING POEM AND ITS NOT WORKING!!! SOME ONE PLEASE SEND ME SOME EXTRACT OF INSPIRATION IN A TINCTURE.  THANKS

My Major

So. . .because I'm an extremely indecisive person that will just never be satisfied, I'm thinking about changing my major.  As my readers already know, I'm not really a fan of this whole college thing. . .so going to college until I'm 30 to get my doctorate in psychology doesn't really make a lot of sense.  So I've been sitting here pondering about the things I want out of life. . .and I've come to this conclusion:  I want to help people.  I don't want to be a doctor.  I don't want to be in school for the rest of my life.  I think I'm going to change my major to nursing!  Yes. . .my back up plans still hold.  If the option of dropping out of college to get married and have kids arises, damn straight I'm taking it.  In the meantime, I think I'm going to switch my major.  Thoughts?  Comments?  Suggestions?  Curse words of encouragement? 

September 28th

So today is the one year anniversary of being adopted by my Dad and becoming and Oeser. Its a decision I made about 3 years ago and after a long process we made it happen 1 year ago.  I am so happy that we made this decision and I wouldn't change it.  My dad and his family have been my family for the majority of my life and my adoption was just a matter of making it official.  So Happy Anniversary Dad, I love you!!

Thursday

So, as a lot of you already know, I've been sick for like a week.  Thursday morning I woke up at like 2:30 a.m. and couldn't breathe.  I didn't have an inhaler or anything with me at college so I went downstairs to the RA on duty and told her that I've been sick and was having a really hard time breathing.  She started to panic a little bit but called the campus EMTs, I think its called OSES or something like that.  Any who, for some reason campus police had to come too and they got there first.  The EMTs put me on oxyget, took my vitals and got all of my information.  They said if I was having trouble breathing and felt as though I was going to pass out then I should go to the emergancy room.  So I was paraded out of my building by 2 police officers and 3 or 4 EMTs.  That was embarrassing.  Then an ambulance came and took me to the ER.  They gave me a breathing treatment in the ambulance and that helped my breathing a lot.  I was the only person in the emergancy room so there was no wait.  They took all my vitals again and took x-rays of my lungs.  They told me that I had bronchitis and laryngitis and they gave me an inhaler, and 2 perscriptions for cough medicine and an antibiotic.  I went home later that day and stayed there for the rest of the week.  I'm better now, I still feel pretty shitty, but at least I have my voice back and I can usually breathe.  So thats my exciting story for the week :P

Do you remember. . .?

Do you remember the day we met?
I remember what what you wore.
I remember how sick I was, and you thought I wasn't interested.
Do you remember the first time we made love?
I will never forget it.
Do you remember the first time I told you I loved you?
I do, even though I've said it at least a million times since then.
Do you remember our song?
If you don't, you can find it on my blog :P
Do you remember that time in the car, with your bestfriend in the back seat?
How about the picture the 3 of us took together?
Do you remember when you went with me to the cemetary?
I really appreciated that.
Do you remember your going away party?
Do you remember how I tried so hard not to cry the day that you left. . .but failed horribly?
Do you remember all the letters I wrote?
Do you remember what I got you for christmas?
Do you remember what I got your parents for christmas?
Do you remember going to the movies with me? 
Do you remember what we saw? 
We went to 3 of them.
Do you remember where you bought my ring?
Do you remember what it looked like?
How many diamonds did it have?
Do you remember new years eve?
Do you remember when we brought you back to the airport?
I hated that day soo much.
Do you remember when I went to see you graduate?
Do you remember the bathroom?
I remembered feeling choking back tears the whole way home.
I missed you soo much.
Do you remember that night in May?
It was warm that night.
I remember how you used to kiss me. . .how I used to feel when you would kiss me.
I remember how happy I was when I would get a letter from you.
I remember how you rubbing your head made you fall asleep.
I remember the moment I decided I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
I remember agreeing to marry you.
I remember the pain I felt every time I had to say goodbye again.
I remember the day we called it quits.
The only thing I don't remember. . .is when I fell out of love with you.

Comments

I was just informed today that my readers were unable to post comments on my page.  This was due to my third party template that I uploaded, but I just wanted to let you all know that it is fixed and you can now leave as many comments as you want.  Happy reading :D

Grateful Dead-Touch of Grey

Must be getting early
Clocks are running late
Paint by Number morning sky
Looks so phony

Dawn is breaking everywhere
Light a candle, curse the glare
Draw the curtains, I don't care
'Cause it's all right

I will get by
I will get by
I will get by
I will survive

I see you've got your fist out
Say your piece and get out
Yes I got the gist of it
But it's all right

Sorry that you feel that way
The only thing there is to say
Every silver lining's got a
Touch of grey

I will get by
I will get by
I will get by
I will survive
It's a lesson to me
The Ables and the Bakers and the C's
The ABC's we all must face
To try to keep a little grace

It's a lesson to me
The Deltas and the East and the Freeze
The ABC's we all think of
To try to win a little love

I know the rent is in arrears
The dog has not been fed in years
It's even worse than it appears
But it's all right

Cow is giving kerosene
Kid can't read at seventeen
The words he knows are all obscene
But it's all right

I will get by
I will get by
I will get by
I will survive

The shoe is on the hand it fits
There's really nothing much to it
Whistle through your teeth and spit
'Cause it's all right
Oh well, a touch of grey
Kind of suits you anyway
That was all I had to say
And it's all right

I will get by
I will get by
I will get by
I will survive

We will get by
We will get by
We will get by
We will survive

College (some high roman numeral, I have no idea where we are anymore :P)

So today was ACTUALLY a really good day.  Dispite the fact that I've been sick the last few days, today was good.  I was tempted to just stay in bed and not go to classes today, but I pushed myself and in my first class we got to watch Into the Woods, which is one of my favorites.  The weather was really nice, so that felt good as well.  I went to dinner with Rob and Andrew, and although the food kinda sucked, I enjoyed the company as always.  Then Josh came over to get notes for the CLASS HE SKIPPED! and I ended up reading his tarot cards and his horoscope and harassing him for about 2 hours lol, and that was probably the most fun I've had sober since I've been here.  That put me in the gypsy mood so I texted Audrey to see if I could read her tarot cards and she made delicious cake.  Cake always puts a smile on peoples faces, and before I knew it, I was really feeling better. Maybe things are looking up?

Back Up Plans

First of all, I would just like to say as an update to a prior post titled "Philosophy" I got a 100 on that short little response!! lol
I've decided if the whole college thing doesn't work out, I should probably have a back up plan. . .So I actually made three back up plans incase the first two back up plans don't work :P
Backup Plan A:  Find a wealthy bachelor and marry him.  That way, I don't have to go to college, nor to I have to work and for the next few years and I can be a baby maker and forever be an amazing housewife.  What ever woman decided that she wanted to be equal to men and work. . .ya she should be kicked in her womanly part. 
Backup Plan B:  In the event that I don't find a wealthy bachelor to marry I will get dreads in my hair and become a gypsy.  I will hitch hike my way all over the United States reading tarot cards, palms, and telling people their horoscope. 
Backup Plan C:  If the first two plans don't work, then I'm going to take Gabby down with me and we're both going to ditch college and run away and become Groupies for some band (and no, not Justin Bieber).

So, what do you think??  At least I have a plan for myself and goals :D