Ranting About Women and Such!

Mood:  Thoughtful

Weather: Cold, but sunny and nice :) 

I've been thinking about it, and stewing about it. . .so I'm just going to say it.  I blame the progressive downward fall of American Society on WOMEN JOINING THE WORKFORCE.  

Before women joined the workforce they were more dependent on their husbands, not only financially but he was part of the foundation of the family.  Women were choosier with who they married because it wasn't like they had the easy option of divorce.  They couldn't support themselves let alone a family so marriages stayed together.  

Women also had more time.  They had time to cook three whole meals a day instead of making something quick they can eat on the road or fix before everyone gets home for dinner.  So meals were healthier thus lessening obesity and other related diseases.  

They also had more time to teach children important lessons in home making, cooking, morality, etc.  They are around to set an example and keep up their surroundings.  

Granted there are a lot more factors; technology, media, etc.  But I think it all started with this, and now its no longer a decision if a woman wants to work or stay at home, they have to work in order to make ends meet.  Some even make more money than their husbands!!!  Which is empowering women, which is great! All about an empowered woman, but I think its pussifying men!  Its contradicting the traditional values people once had and confusing children.  

Women joining the workforce, in my opinion, has lead to the breakdown of the family.  Marriage is no longer valued, and neither is the central family.  This is leading to a breakdown of values, and respect for each other and ourselves.  

They aren't around as often to rear children and when they are they are trying to do the duties of women in the short time they have.  So they are more stressed out. . .I think you see where I'm going with this. . .stress, (we've all seen snapped right?), etc.  

I don't have any suggestions on fixing this.  Not in this economy.  I'm just sayin. . .But do you see where I'm coming from here?? Anyone?? Anyone??  I would love to be a homemaker.  To perfect cooking, and cleaning. . .maybe even the dreaded sewing!!!!  And know that I've been there for every minute possible for my kids and fed them properly and always kept a clean home.  Am I alone here?? Do women no longer want this for their families?? Or is it that we're just so far in the hole we can't get back out?? 

Again, these opinions are my own, the picture is not!  And I never intend to offend!

What Do You Want - Jerrod Niemann (Again, I had nothing to do with the making of this video)

Why'd you call me today with nothing new to say?
You pretend it's just hello, but you know what it does to me to see your number on the phone.
Now tell me, what do you want? What do you want? What do you want from me?
Are you tryin' to bring back the tears or just the memories?
You keep takin' me back, takin' me back where I've already been.
When we hang up it's almost like I'm losing you again.
Can't you see? What do you want, What do you want from me?

I get so tired of living like this.
I don't have the time, neither do my friends,
To stay up at night, to pull me through,
And to find the things to keep my mind off of you.

So, now tell me, what do you want? What do you want? What do you want from me?
Did you call to say you've found someone and I'm a used- to- be.
You keep takin' me back, takin' me back where I've already been.
If you've moved on why does it feel like I'm losing you again?
Can't you see? So what do you want? What do you want from me?

What do you want me to say?
That I'm content? That I'm on the fence? That I wish you would've stayed?
Oh baby what do you want, what do you want, what do you want from me?
To come here and make love tonight cause you're feelin' lonely.
You keep takin' me back, takin' me back where I've already been.
When we wake up and say goodbye it's like I'm losing you again.
Can't you see? So what do you want, what do you want from me?
What do you want, what do you want from me?

The Journey to Me: Religion and Beliefs

Mood: Confused, frustrated

Weather: Absolutely beautiful today! Warm! Felt Like Spring!

I'm sure that all of you know, well any of you that know me or follow my blog, that I am not very good at making decisions at sticking to them.  I've been to two colleges, two majors, not at either right now.  Lets not say how many "boyfriends" over the years :) K?  I may have changed my hair style and color a few times, and even the style of my clothes.  But hey, I'm getting there :) Well. . .another thing I can't seem to figure out and make a decision on is what I believe in.  I want so much to believe in God, and all the heroic stories of Jesus and his disciples.  But its hard for me.  I've expressed my doubts and people told me to read the bible.  Maybe I made a mistake in skipping right to revelations (sorry, I guess patience isn't my strong point either!) but it seemed too much like a science fiction novel.  I'm not trying to offend anyone here by saying this, just sayin'.  I'm just afraid of making the wrong decision.  Especially when apparently they are this important.  I remember hearing about Satan too!! and we sell costumes for him at The Costumer :) . . .Just Sayin'.  Anyways. . .I just have a hard time believing a lot of the things I'm told.  Perhaps part of it, I don't want to believe.  I don't understand how people of different beliefs feel just as strongly about their faith as anyone else, but only their religion is the right one.  Everyone else is wrong?  So because they were taught wrong they are going to hell?  I don't like that.  I don't care.  I just have a lot of problems with the whole religion thing in general.  I'm curious to know, without offending anyone, what do you believe?  Even if you're an atheist I would really love to hear what you believe and why.  If you are comfortable, post a comment below, and it can be anonymous.  Maybe it will help :) 

My Birthday

Mood: Happy :) 

Weather: Winter in NY

I am officially 20 years old and no longer a teenager.  As the years pass, my birthdays are meaning less and becoming less significant.  Perhaps I'll feel differently next year ;)  I'm not sure if I had mentioned this on here before, but CJ's birthday was the day before mine and he is now 22.  I made my first meatloaf for his birthday and it came out great :)  We spent the weekend with our friends and family and its been great :) 

Jessie's 21st Birthday

I'm a little late posting about this, seeing as her birthday was on January 4th, but I didn't know what to say.  Cj, Cyndi, and I went to the cemetery, like I normally do, to celebrate her birthday.  We were only there a few minutes before another car pulled up behind us. . .and it was her mother.  I hadn't seen Lori since the funeral, and had only spoken to her maybe twice since.  It was awkward.  I was embarrassed.  There were so many things I wanted to say, but couldn't.  I didn't know what to say or do, so we just left.  I hugged her and said hello, but that was all I could really manage.  It was painful, though I'm not completely sure why.  Perhaps it just stirred up some old feelings.  I haven't posted about this yet because I still don't know what to say other than it was an awkward and painful experience that I wish I could go back and redo.
I can't believe Jessie would have been 21. . .in my memory she will always be 16.  I wish she was still here for us to celebrate our birthdays' together like we did when we were little.  I miss you Jess.  RIP. 1/4/91-11/06/07

Just Kiss Me

Wait a second. 

Don't speak.

For words are always all wrong.

Close your eyes.

They deceive you.

Wait a minute.

Don't touch me.

I might die if you do.

My heart skips beats,

And I can't seem to breath.

Stay the night.

I couldn't stand for you to leave.

Not again.  

Don't think.

It only makes things harder.

Shh.  Just kiss me.

One more week, 

That's all I ask for.  

Listen to your heart.

It knows I love you.

Mine told me your secret too.

A month,

A year,

A decade.

I'll wait.

Just let me feel your heart as it skips a beat.

Hold me, when you take my breath away.

And please, just kiss me.

The Journey To Me: My Body Part II

Just to give you an idea of that video I was telling you about.  (I did not make this video, I found it on youtube)

The Journey To Me: My Body

Mood: Energized

Weather: Probably cold

Something that is very hard to talk about is my body.  I am very self conscious about my appearance to others and a lot of the time I don't feel beautiful because I don't like my body.  I have struggled with my weight all my life and honestly now I think that I felt embarrassed to be dieting and exercising. . .like it meant acknowledging I have a "problem."  But I guess I do.  Not to mention I have asthma so when I did finally decide to run, I couldn't breath after about 5 minutes, which embarrassed me even more.  I didn't make any new years resolutions really, just to make this the best year yet and to have a year worth living.  I've decided I don't want to do it in this body anymore.  So I've decided to start a diet and an exercise program, which are two of my least favorite words!  This morning I got up at 8 (On a Saturday!!!) and found a cardio video on netflix.  Its some Crunch: CardioSalsa video or something like that.  I started out with 10 crunches (wow its been a while) and then did 15 minutes of the video, which was basically me repeating the first 5 minutes 3 times because by that time I could no longer keep up with the synchronized steps.  Jesus, if you thought Latino's talked fast, you should see them salsa O.O  I think I'm going to try to do this every other day for a while and eventually do more and more time.  My goal is to drop 2 pants sizes, and once I do that I will buy myself a gym membership.  I don't want to buy the membership and never go again so this is sort of a way for me to prove to myself I'm serious.  Please wish me luck and I can use all the encouragement, prayers, and luck I can get!  

My Other Christmas Present

Mood: The way you would expect any female to feel when she gets jewelry :P 

Weather: Cold dammit! 

So aside from my cute and hilarious turtle Gertrude (Gerdy), CJ also bought me this beautiful ring.  The center stone is blue topaz, and the darker blue stones are sapphires.  There are four encrusted diamonds at the corners and its all set in white gold.  Its his promise ring to me. . .that when we CAN afford it :P he'll get me an engagement ring <3 I love you with all my heart Sparky <3 

Living With A Boy: Family Pictures (Pictures done by Ezer Photography) Part II