My Sexi Timmer ♥♥♥

check out my mans sexi body mm mm mm :D lol

his fly was undone lol

Chris

This is my boyfriend's bestfriend Chris.  He is single and lonely :( Interested??

The Roll of Women

We were talking today in english a little bit about the rolls of women and how this one woman in the book we are reading takes care of her husband, always has dinner ready for him, takes his hat and coat when he comes home, keeps the children neat and in line, and all that traditional stoof.  My immediate reaction was, "whats wrong with that?"  I later found out that the woman wasn't happy in her roll as the traditional housewife.  I don't see why anyone wouldn't be happy doing that. . .what's wrong with it?  I find nothing wrong in keeping your husband happy, being obedient, taking care of the kids and doing all of that. . .I would happy in that roll.  I totally believe that is what my roll is supposed to be. . .I don't know. . .just thought I would add something about that on here. . .

Happiness

I've been talking to a lot of different people about happiness.  What exactly is it?  Is it an emotion?  A lifestyle?  A myth?  What is it that makes people happy, and if something makes someone happy is it wrong?  Different things make people happy, but do they really make them happy or do they just think it does because its supposed to make them happy?  How do you know when you are truely happy or just content?  What is the difference?   What makes me happy?  And why do those things make me happy?  Do they truely make me happy?  Some people believe that their job and success makes them happy.  Other people say that other people make them happy.  Some even say that being alone makes them happy.  All these different people have different views, are any of them wrong?  Are all of them wrong?  What is supposed to make people happy?  Do you know you are happy when you are rolling on the floor laughing?  Or when you get that warm feeling in your stomach?  Some people compare love to happiness, like its directly related, is that true? 

If You Love Someone. . .

If you love someone, should it matter if they don't love you as much as you love them?  Should it matter what their friends or family think? Or what your friends and family think?  If you love someone, what does matter.  Should you let them go when they decide it isn't working, when in your heart you think it will?  If you love someone, is their happiness and well being more important than your own?  If you love someone, should you let go of everything you have ever dreamed of for them because now they are your life?  What is more important?  Is love more important than yourself?  How do these things weigh in?   If you love someone, should you listen to everyone around you because love has flooded your vision?  Or should you listen to your heart? 

I Fell In Love. . .

I fell in love with the ocean, the water, the salt, the sand.
I fell in love with the mountains, the rocks, and the trees.
I fell in love with dips and peaks of the earth, no matter how steep, or how shallow.
I love feeling the waves, the soft sand under my feet, the wind in my hair. 
I fell in love with the energy, the power, the strength.
I fell in love with the fire, the heat, the passion.
I love all of the elements of the earth, the texture, the smell, the emotions.
I fell in love with the earth, just as I fell in love with you.
I fell in love with your smile, your eyes, your hair.
I fell in love with your body, your muscles, your strenght.
I fell in love with your energy, the way you make me feel.
I fell in love with all the elements of your body, the texture, the smell, the taste, the sound.
I fell in love. . .with you.

Depressed. . .

I've been feeling really depressed since late last night, and its carried over into today.  I didn't sleep very well last night because I have so much on my mind and I've been in such a fog all day today.  I feel like I'm standing in the woods with two paths in front of me. both flourished with flowers and beauty but i see a rain cloud in the distance. which path will keep me dry and safe? which path will be more fun? Most of all. . .which path is the right path?  Its never good when I start thinking and thats what I've been doing since last night.  I wonder if what I'm doing is right and I try to think about all possible outcomes and it just depresses me.  I love my boyfriend very much, but at the same time I feel so alone.  Its hard to explain, but I'm trying.  I feel so detached from everyone lately.  I've been too busy to hang out with my friends, work, school, theatre are all I have time for and I feel so overwhelmed.  I just want to cry.  Last night when I was with Tim, we had to go over to his bestfriends house who Tim lives with most of the time.  While we were there Tim told me I could look at his cell phone but he warned me that he had nudey pix of his ex and old text messages.  He hadn't deleted them because his phone is shut off atm and so he hasn't used it really since they were together.  I didn't mind though because I know they are broken up and he is with me now and its all good.  But seeing the pictures of her and reading the texts really got to me.  I didn't say anything because there is nothing to say.  I have no clue why I feel this way, but I do.  I feel awful.  It has been eating at me and I really just need to get it out.  Why is it bothering me so badly?  Its not like he is cheating on me or anything.  I know he loves me.  I've had ex boyfriends, and I understand he has ex girlfriends. . .I dont get it.  ugh I hate feeling like this and being so depressed. 

Hehe

I wanted to go out. . .this is what I get lol.  Thats me in the middle, Tim is the one that looks angry that I am licking, and his bestfriend Chris is the one that looks constipated :D lol

Nov 6th

Yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of the worst day of my life.  It was the anniversary of my cousin's death, a day I will never forget.  A big part of me died that day with her, and I haven't really been the same since.  I left school a little early to go to the cemetary because its an hour early and I wanted to make sure I got there before dark.  Tim went with me and I brought a candle to leave on her grave.  It was all decorated with flowers and candles, it looked very nice for such a horrible place.  It reminded me of some of the pain I have been avoiding for a long time and I broke down crying.  It still hurts a lot especially because I don't feel like Jessie is here with me anymore, at least not like I used to.  I know she is there, I just don't feel as connected to her.  When I got back in the truck I decided to call her mom, but the number I had was old, so I called her grandmother and spoke to her for a little while.  I told her that I loved her and she was in my thoughts and prayers.  We spoke for a few minutes and both cried on the phone.  We talked about Cory (Jessie's little sister that was also in the accident that is paralyzed) and that hurt me a lot.  I realized that I really need to see her and be there for her.  I got Lori's new number, but got the voicemail so I left one.  I broke down crying even more in the drunk, my heart was breaking.  Tim held me close, but I could tell it was kind of awkward for him because he didn't really know what to do in that situation, and that is fine. . .it was just nice to have him there holding me.  I miss my cousin so much, not a day goes by that I don't think about her and what happened.  I think a part of me still blames myself for not being able to help and save her like I thought I had.  It still breaks my heart that I didn't get to say goodbye.  I can't believe its only been 2 years, it seems like so much longer, but at the same time it seems like it was just yesterday. 

My Heart. . .

Love makes my heart beat faster and slower.
It beats faster when I hear your voice
when I feel your warmth
when I see your face
when I taste your mouth
when I smell your lust.
My heart races when I think about you near me,
holding me,
kissing me,
loving me.

It beats slower when you're away,
when I know I can't see you,
hear you,
feel you,
smell you,
or taste you.
When I remember that I am yours forever, it slows down and makes forever last.
It sometimes skips a beat at thought of our future.

You are my future, my life, my love. . .my everything. 


*I won't forget what is most important*