New Beginnings :)

Mood: Happy :) 

Weather: Bipolar :P 

Well I suppose I have a lot to explain, so here it goes.  For about three years my boyfriend, CJ (chauncey) has been in love with me and chasing me, however I didn't have the same feelings for him so I've done nothing but reject him.  I've loved him as a friend, but nothing more and we tried just being friends, but it normally didn't work out too well. . .Well I can't really tell you what changed, but maybe 3 months ago he and I started hanging out again and I fell in love with him.  I realized how much I actually mean to him and it melted my heart so I decided to give him another shot and here we are.  I couldn't be more happy or more in love with him and we just moved into our own apartment yesterday :)))  People pick on me because of how hard I've tried to find someone for the last year and a half and everything has ended in a trainwreck and then as soon as I try something different. . .it works.  He is completely different than the normal type of guy I go for. . .but I honestly wouldn't change a thing.  I am so happy.  He makes me feel so beautiful, special, and safe. . .I knew that he would from the day he told me he had feelings for me, but I just didn't have the same feelings at the time. . .I'm so glad that I do now and that everything seems to be working out.  Yesterday we moved into our new apartment in Schenectady, its a cute little one bedroom where I can keep Jack and its much closer to CJ's work.  I'll keep you updated, I just hope I don't have to write another post titled "Single. . .again" :P Wish me luck!!!

Y'all were thinking it. . .I'm just saying :P

New Tattoo :))

I recently got a new tattoo on my foot.  The butterfly is a symbol of hope and the two shamrocks are obviously a symbol of luck :P Not to mention I'm very Irish.  I do not recommend tattoos on the foot, they hurt!!! But I was a trooper, just ask my bf who sat through it with me :)

All Part of Growing Up

So as I grow up I change my mind about who I see myself being in the future, who I want to be.  I suppose I am in the process of making that decision now.  Do I want to be the fun, hippie, that lives on the edge?  Or am I ready to grow up and settle down and be. . .a grown up?  I think I'm leaning towards the grown up part of that.  Its not an easy decision to make. . .it means a lot will have to change, but I'm starting to take steps.  For one I took my nose ring out, my lip is going soon and possibly my tongue as well.  I met a really great guy and things could be happening there :) When I went down to visit family in georgia this summer I thought a lot about growing up and how it happens. . .but one thing I can't seem to figure out. . .is when exactly we go from being the child to being the adult.  Like now I'm the one asking "hows school?" "do you like it?" "what do you want to be when you grow up?" when I remember not so long ago I was the one being asked that questiong by what I thought of as adults. . .it just feels strange for me.  I guess I'm ready?

The Adventures of Jocie: Skinny Dipping

Plenty of my friends and myself have gone skinny dipping at my house.  My pool is fenced in and so day or night we would go skinny dipping or lay out and catch some sun. . .well guys, I just so happened to be doing such a thing the other day while my boyfriend was at the bank (I thought I'd surprise him when he got back ;) just saying) and I happened to look up. . .that is when I realized that if you are on the upstairs of just about any house on my street you can see into my decked in pool area. . .Whoops.  :P So I feel like this mistake will be made again, but I just thought I would let you know and forewarn you.  Sorry guys. . .sorry neighbours? :P

I've Been Naughty. . .

Mood: Cautious

Weather: Cloudy, but warm (got sunburned earlier today :P)

So I really don't have a good excuse for why I haven't written in so long.  I could say I have been busy, which is true (the last two weeks I've spent without access to a computer in georgia, prior to that I spent most of  my time with my new boyfriend *blush*, friends, and family.  I've had some stuff going on lately that I've been dealing with and I've sort of been avoiding the computer.  I feel that a lot of unnecessary drama comes from the use of it. . .but a lot has happened and I am going to update you immediately!!!!!!!  But I do appologize for being so careless and not taking the time to update.  I also appologize to anyone that doesn't read this post before any of the updates. . .because this is already old news :P Anyways, enjoy :)

My Baby Sister

With each day that passes I can't believe what a beautiful young woman my baby sister is turning into.  At twelve years old she amazes me with her drive, artistic and musical talent, beauty, and intelligence.  I admire her in many ways and I know she doesn't know that.  For the last few months she has been training to run her first 5k (Girls on the Run).  I went to Cooperstown with her to watch her and I am so so so proud of her.  I think that was an awesome thing that she did and I think next year she and I are going to do it together.  She inspires me and though she may consider me her role model. . .I think she's mine. 

Jackariah Demitrius Oeser

Mood: Frustrated and sick of people

Weather: Hot, Sunny, B-E-A-UTIFUL!! :)

So I know I haven't posted in quite some time, but there is a reason.  I've kinda been dealing with some stuff and a few things happened that I don't think I'm going to blog about.  So I decided to get a dog to try to cheer myself up and give me a friend that can't stab me in the back and hurt me like the majority of my real friends and family.  He is a 1 year old, pedigree, English Shepherd.  He is fixed, with all of his shots, so he is a $600 dog, and I got him for free.  His family had several other dogs and cats and they got rid of his brother because both dogs got along with all the other animals and people in the house, but not each other.  So they gave his brother away and when I called they decided to give Jack away too.  They had named him Lord Floyd. . .and I didn't love the name lol so I changed it to Jackariah Demitrius, or Jack for short :P He is my little boy and he loves his Mama.  He follows me where ever I go and cries when he can't see me.  He is very shy around other people and it takes him a while to warm up to them, he actually favors men over women and he doesn't particularly like blonde females for some reaons.  But he loves me and he is the biggest chicken I have ever seen, and he would never hurt a fly.  He just takes his time getting to know people, but he fell right in love with me and he's perfect.  I love him to death.  This is my little boy. 

My Dream :)

Mood: So Happy :)
Weather: Warm, sunny, beautiful :)

Get the idea?? lol



Decisions

Mood: Distracted

Weather:  Sunny, warm, breezy :)))

According to Social Scientists, our brains aren't fully developed until, on average, the age of 25.  The part that is continuing to develop is the frontal lobe which helps us to foresee the future outcomes of our decisions, as well as emotions and such.  Well I'm 19 so apparently my frontal lobe isn't completely developed and therefore I am incapable of adequately determining the outcomes of the decisions I make. . .but I try to make up for it.  I try to plan, and set goals for myself and plan my life accordingly around these goals.  I try to weigh the pros and cons of each option before making a decision.  I make decisions that will not only positively affect myself, but those around me as well.  I attempt to look into my future and see how the decisons I make now will impact my life either a week from now, or 20 years from now.  However, sometimes I wonder if I make decisions for the wrong reasons.  If I make a decison for the right reason, but with bad intentions. . .is that a good or bad decision?  Or if I made a decision for the wrong reasons, but with good intentions. . .what kind of decision is that?  How can you really know how each decision in life is going to pan out?  And how do you go about making such decision?  Do you make choices based on fears?  Goals?  The people around you?  I try to make good decisons for myself, even though I don't always succeed.  Sometimes I make decisions because I think they will make other people happy, conversely I sometimes make decisions because it will made me happy.  I have goals and plans for my life, I know where I WANT to be in 10 years and I try to make decisions that will help me be the person and have the lifestyle that I want to have then even though they don't always go along with what other people think is right and want for me.  So are those decisions good or bad?  I have to say, I've never really been good at making decisions for myself because it is soooooo hard to make everyone and myself happy at the same time, and yes I AM A PEOPLE PLEASER!  But I think I'm finally getting over that and starting to be able to make decisions for myself because its my life.  I make decisions that are going to help ME reach MY goals.  I make decisions that will help me later in life with a family, a house, children etc.  But even still, I sometimes wonder if I'm making good decisions, and if they are for the right reasons, and with good intentions.  I'm not sure we can always do that, and I guess it comes down to weighing the pros and cons not only for your benefit, but for those around you (alive or unborn).  I know this post is kind of vague, its sort of me just reasonsing "out loud :P"  Just food for thought :)