Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Panic Attacks
I've been having a lot of panic attacks lately. I've had them for years, but they're pretty rare. I usually have them at night after a nightmare, but not that often. I used to have them like once a month but lately they have been less and less until recently. Recently I've had them a lot more and they've been a lot worse and I feel different when I have them. I had one the other day when I was with Ryan. I started feeling really weird and panicky when we were shopping and it got worse when we went to the car wash and were driving home. I don't know what happened or why I felt that way. Ryan is a really REALLY really safe driver so I know it wasn't that. . .I just felt really weird. I felt so anxious and my heart started to race, and I started to get all hot, and I just didn't feel right at all. Then I had one the next morning when I was having my breakfast. . .there was nothing out of the ordinary to bring it on. . .I just had one. I don't really like talking about my panic attacks. . .like what I think about, how I calm myself down, possible ways of fixing them. I don't care if people know that I have them, but I don't want people to see me have one. . .and I don't want to talk about it. I'm kind of embarrassed by them, and I'm not sure why. I don't know why I feel this way about them. . .I can tell you about them on here, and tell you I had one. . .but I get upset when people try to suggest ways of fixing them. . .I'm not sure why. I'm really scared of having another one at school, its happened a few times before, but I hate it when other people see me have them.
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