Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Inspiring words from another friend

"ya i dont blame u....but believe me from pictures ive seen, things u wrote, u rly r everything i want. ur not perfect u dont live the perfect princess life but ur strong and u know whats important uk when to hold grudges when to let ur pride fall to the wayside, u genuinely care about ppl no matter what, i dont think i could ever be as strong as u from what i read. i want someone that will actually truly love me and that will open there heart to me and trust me to never break it....ive had so many relationships with girls that always have someone on the side just incase someone that everything that they did for me always had a reason for it and i want someone that will do something for me just when u made him that video about how u loved him and missed him....thats exactly what i would die for....i havnt dealt with family issues like u have but i put up with bullshit relationships that i thought were everything i thought i wanted....i want a girl that will miss me just as much as i miss them.."

This was written to me from another friend of mine.  This really made me smile and brought tears to my eyes.  Just for an update: I found out chris has been reading my emails and got all upset because I was talking to other guys and was doing so well.  He is very jealous that I have all my friends and family here supporting me and he is alone.  He feels that he has no one and when I tried to be there for him he attacked me.  He told me he felt that I did nothing for him in our entire relationship and pretty much said I was a horrible girlfriend.  He can feel however he wants.  He tried to bring me down and make me feel bad, but I didn't let him. Instead, I thought about it and then wrote him a letter saying : "well i've decided i'm not going to be a push over. i'm going to tell you what i think and how i feel and i dont care what you think or do. go ahead and delete me from my friends and block me on aim, you will just be even more alone. chris you are selfish, you are the only one that matters. you're the type of person that will do something for someone only if you get something in return. you don't appreciate just doing something for someone just because. in fact you dont care about other people at all, its all about you. you want me to be hurting right now because you are. you hate it that i have so many friends and family that are there for me and love me and you're left alone. do you know why you are alone chris? because u push everyone away. you dont care about other people so why would they want to care about u? you have an unapproachable personality. Seriously, no one can make you happy. your father says the same thing. nothing anyone does for you will make you happy, you always want more, its never enough. You didn't care that i was here missing you before we broke up. You didn't care that I wanted to talk to u and I was up waiting al the time. You knew how I felt and you didn't care, you just wanted to have fun. Well it looks like the fun is over and where are you? you are alone. You don't have me anymore to waste your time and to make you feel better about yourself. You don't have anyone but yourself and that is all you will have until you grow up and learn its not all about you. You're a very depressing person and you brought me down a lot. You ruined every event that should have been fun for the both of us. You ruined a lot of things for me but I just let it go, I always just let it go. I'm not letting it go now chris. Chris you broke my heart into pieces and then just kept letting me have it until I couldn' ttake anymore. And then I when i was doing better and starting to see other people you got jealous and decided to try to hurt me. Well you didn't hurt me. I dont care chris. I never hurt u nearly as much as you hurt me. You're pathedic for reading my emails. Thats what you do because your bored? You should be ashamed of yourself. Well I hope you are enjoying your self pity. I'm over you chris and I dont care if you never want to speak to me again. Honestly, I think I feel better now than I did the entire time we were together. No more stress. I can do what I want when I want and so can you. I'm still not blocking you or deleting you because when you realize how much of an ass you are, i'm here for you to appologize, and if you don't i'm still okay with that. I dont care what happens to you chris. I ACTUALLY AND SINCERLY DON'T CARE ANYMORE!! I have soo many people that love me and if you dont, well you're just one person. Have a great life if I dont talk to you again and I do wish you the best."

It may have been a bit harsh, but I was really upset and that truely was how I felt.  If he can try to beat me down and hurt me then I can be honest and tell him what I think and how I feel. 

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