New Gadget

I've added a new gadget that can be found on the left hand side if you scroll down a bit.  Its a Suicide Chatroom.  No, it is not a suicide prevention chat room.  I came across the gadget, and I liked it so I decided to put it in my blog.  Users can use any type of screen name or choose to be anonymous.  The people in the chatroom are not only people in my blog, the chatroom comes up in a few other places as well.  I liked it, use it if you would like. 

ATTENTION!!!

OKAY SO MY GOAL IS TO GET 5000 HITS BY 12:00 AM ON JANUARY 1, 2011!!  I HAVE BLOCKED MY IP ADDRESS SO THAT IT DOESN'T COUNT MY VIEWS, OTHERWISE I WOULD BE WELL OVER 10,000 BY NOW :P  SO I NEED MY READERS (YES YOU) TO HELP ME REACH THAT GOAL :) THANKS A BUNCH AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS.

He said

He said, he said Make a wish upon my necklace.
He said, he said I hope all of your dreams come true.
He said, he said you deserve nothing but the best.
But what if what I wished for. . .was you?

Let Go

What if I've given up?  What if I don't really care anymore. What if I'm not really there anymore?  Maybe I'm just an empty shell. . .maybe I've been sucked dry of life.  Maybe there is nothing for me over the rainbow and I'm just wasting space by waiting and hoping that its all going to get better. Every question could be answered at the cost of just one breath.  I'm holding on by a thread. . .maybe I should let go and just see what happens.  Just close my eyes and let go. . .

The Waters

The waters are dark. 
You can't see into it. 
Its cold. 
But I wish to swim. 
I stick my toe in,
its like a shock.
How shall I descend?
Tip toe in? Inch by inch?
Do I slip into the water gracefully?
Or Do I jump right in?
Waters hold me. . .embrace me. 
I wish to swim. 
I wish to plunge and explore your depths.
Let me enter you, let me swim.

Rumor

So lately I've heard that there is a rumor going around about me that I got kicked out of college for marijuana and that is why I'm back home.  I just want to let all of you know that that is no wheres near true.  First of all I was not kicked out of school, I took a personal leave of absense.  Second of all I was never caught with drugs or got in any trouble while I was in school.  Third of all I was going to a SUNY School called STONEONTA. . .I don't think anyone has gotten kicked out of a state school for marijuna unless they're growing it in the school or large scale distribution.  But I was not.  I actually left school because I didn't like all the immature high school kids with new found freedom partying all the time and being stupid about it.  Academically I had straight A's.  So don't believe that shit because its not true by any means. 

Glaucoma

So a couple weeks ago I went to the eye doctor.  I hadn't been there in 3 years and I had had the wrong perscription since day one :P The first thing they did was test the pressure in my eyes.  The woman did it three times because she thougtht she was getting the wrong reading, when I asked her what was wrong she said it was high.  I asked her if that was glaucoma, she said high pressure could be caused by a lot of things, but yes.  I told her that my mother has glaucoma, and she immediately looked worried and told me that isn't good and to definately tell the doctor that.  I went through the eye exam and figured out my eyes had improved quite a bit since my last visit 3 years ago.  He said it could be because my brain grew and such. . .maybe it was just because we got the wrong numbers last time, but I have a new perscription coming.  I asked him about the pressure thing and reminded him that my mother has glaucoma and he told me that next year, if my pressure is still high they will do more tests.  :-/ I'm not really stressing about it because I have a year before I know and I know stressing isn't going to make anything better, but the doctor said that its very rare for someone my age to have glaucoma and I wonder if I'm going to go blind earlier or have it worse because I'm so young. . .THANKS MOM For those of you that don't know, glaucoma is an eye disease that leads to loss of perripheral vision and then blindness.  On the upside-in a few states you can get medicinal marijuana.  :P

THE PARTY CONE!!

So one night, Ashley, Gabby, and I decided it would be a good idea to steal a traffic cone from the side of the road in Fort Plain. . .we actually took 2.  This one ended up in my room and became known as "The Party Cone."  Our next great idea was to decorate The Party Cone :P

You can't really see it, but this glow in the dark star actually says "Party Cone" on it :P

We had a few ping pong balls so we decided to draw faces on them and glue them onto the cone as well, this one was Gabby's fine artwork.

The star at the top was the last thing we added :) 

For Me. . .:) (Tonight - FM Static)

A video sent to me from someone very special.  I cry every time I watch it.  <3

For Your Part III (Come What May - Moulin Rouge)

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Everyday I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you

And there's no mountain too high no river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Oh come what may, come what may
I will love you

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place...

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day