I am ME

I'm not a stereotype.  Not a generalization.  I'm not a barbie doll.  I'm me.  I have brown hair that is very red in the sun.  I get freckles in the summer time.  I look like a goblin first thing in the morning.  I cry when I'm sad.  I don't wear lipstick because it always gets on my teeth!  I love to talk, but I also love to listen.  I listen to metal, country, pop, hiphop, soundtracks, showtunes, opera, and classical.  I love scary movies, and I cry when Jack dies in Titanic.  I have asthma.  I just learned how to spell "surprise" lol.  I have nightmares about 3 times a week, but I've gotten used to them so they don't really bother me anymore.  I like to write, but I don't want to be told how to write.  I'm indecisive.  I'm eccentric.  I'm spontaneous.  I'm random.  I say what I think. . .although sometimes I probably shouldn't.  I like the dark.  I like the rain.  I love lightening.  I am a twilight fan *gasp*.  I love to read, but I hate it when they make movies of books because they're nothing but disappointing.  Monsters scare me. I hate hospitals, doctors, and medicine.  I can't be labled.  I'm not a generalization.  I am me, take me or leave me.

It Doesn't Mean I Love You

If I embellish your name in hearts, that doesn't mean I love you.
If I put a plus sign between our names, that doesn't mean I love you.
If I carve our initials in a tree within a heart, that doesn't mean I love you.
If I tell you I want to be yours, that doesn't mean I love you.
If I tell you that you take my breath away, that doesn't mean I love you.
If I call you every night, and see you every day. . .that doesn't mean I love you.
If I put your picture on my desk or on my wall, that doesn't mean I love you.
If I dream about you every night and wake up thinking about you, that doesn't mean I love you.
Even if I say I love you. . .yeah, even that doesn't mean I love you.
When I kiss you, in a way that can't be described with words and then I sit there with my eyes still closed just holding you. . .
When I look into your eyes, not saying anything for a long time, just looking deeply. . .
When I fall asleep in your arms, or when you fall asleep in mine. . .
When I don't even have to say it and you just know. . .
When I trust you enough to tell you everything, even things that make me cry just to think about them. . .
When I listen to every story you have to tell, even if I think they're stupid and smile and laugh on queue. . .
When I let you cry on my shoulder. . .
When I trust you enough to cry on your shoulder. . .
When we have formed into each others lives that its just natural. . .
When the butterflies go away for good, and the feeling is replaced by a constant warm glow within. . .
When you know all of these things and feel all of these things without me having to say a word. . .That means I love you.  Thats when I do.  And thats when you'll know.  I won't have to say it.  You'll just know.

Ughh Cops

I'm still a little upset.  Ryan and I went out again tonight.  We always have a great time and he is a wonderful gentleman and he makes me so happy.  We went out to dinner and then we were sitting at the riverfront in his car.  Yes we were in the backseat, but NO! we were not doing anything.  We like to sit in the backseat and kiss and be close to eachother and that is honestly and sincerely the extent of it.  Well we were sitting back there and I was leaning on him while he was kissing me and all of a sudden 2 cop cars show up.  No the cops were not called on us.  An older gentleman comes to the window and asks us to open the car door so he can talk to us.  He asks if we saw anyone here with a small child because they received a strange complaint, and we said we hadn't.  He said okay and walked around the river with the other, much younger, cop.  When they came back around the younger cop shines his freaking flash light at us.  By this time we were both sitting up and just talking.  He shines the light in and talks to us through the window.  He says he can only assume what is going on here and asks if he plans to get in the driver seat and get going, and Ryan says yes.  Then the cop asks if we had anything in the car that the other cops dog might smell (what dog? there was no dog in the car) and Ryan says no.  And then the cops says okay, get out of here. . .wtf.  We weren't doing ANYTHING.  He was rude and his behavior was completely uncalled for.  Telling us to get out of there and saying he can only assume what is going on. . .he can't assume.  We've only been out a few times and aren't anywhere near doing anything like that.  It really pissed me off what he said, his tone, and how rude he was to us.  We did nothing wrong.  It upset me for the remainder of the night and I'm still a little ticked.  Ughhhh Cops. 

My New Kitten :)

This is my new kitten, we got her on Wednesday and we love her very much. . .but we haven't named her yet. . .and no I do not want to name her patches just because she's calico.  Any ideas??

Are You Prince Charming?

So every since my "Knight in Shining Armor" walked into the sunset with his old cow in the place of a horse I've been in search of my Prince Charming :) Well I've been out with 3 possible men who have proved to be frogs even after I kissed them, that my have changed. . .last night I met this guy. . .a real gentleman.  He more than swept me off my feet within a few moments and left me floating on cloud nine for the remainder of the evening.  We went out again today and once again he took my breath away and left me speechless.  You know that forward that all of us girls get saying "wait for the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot" and all that bs. . .he's kinda like that.  He must have told me I was beautiful at least a hundred times since we met last night.  He makes me smile, and I feel so at ease with him.  Conversation comes easy and we have a lot in common.  Our birthdays are on the same day and we might even be going to the same college in the fall.  Is he the Prince Charming I've been waiting for to ride off into the sunset with???  I guess we will just have to wait and find out.  Until then. . .I'm smiling :)

Pictures of Me

As I have said before, when I get bored ^ this is what I do lol.  I am extremely vain at times and I love taking my picture :) so here, this is what I did I think it was last week, perhaps the week before when I was getting ready for a date. 

College III

Well I went to go visit Oneonta the other day and I like it.  It was a nice school and my mom and I can both see me going there.  Best part of all. . .theres a strip club in town that my mother told me I could work that.  Thanks mom for being so supportive :) lol no but really, the school was nice.  The only thing I don't like is that I can't have my car there until I'm a junior. . .wtf am I supposed to do with my car in the mean time??  I also wish that they had a football team. . .I like watching the games.  Other than that I'm excited.  They have sororities and bars all over the place.  The campus was nice, it has trees, grass, flowers, and a pond unlike some of the other SUNY schools (albany) lol  Its pretty much set in stone thats where I'm going, but I'll keep you updated. :)

Alice In Wonderland

I have mixed feelings about this movie.  It had potential to be great, and I loved the characters, but in my opinion it was underdeveloped.  I think the movie was too short and a lot more could have happened to make it more interesting.  It was okay, I was expecting so much more and I am such a big fan of Tim Burton and honestly. . .I wasn't all that impressed.  The graphics were great in 3D (haha :)) and the characters were amazing. . .but the movie itself. . .meh.

The Pillars of the Earth

This was an amazing book and I highly suggest it for anyone.  I am currently reading the sequal.  There is soo much to this book that, I think, anyone could get into it.  There is romance, war, tradgedy, religion, everything.  It was great.  Its a long read, just short of 1000 pages, but I loved every page. 

I am Human

Have you ever pricked your finger with a needle?  Burned yourself on a hot pan?  What does it feel like?  It hurts doesn't it?  Did you know. . .that it hurts me too?  Have you ever been afraid of the dark?  Or woken up from a nightmare and were afraid?  Did you kno. . .that those things scare me too?  Has anyone ever said something hurtful, or made some rude remark?  How did you feel?  Yeah. . .it makes me sad too.  Have you ever been out with friends laughing, singing, telling jokes?  Did you know. . .that I do those things too?  Have you ever smiled?  Cried?  Laughed?  Screamed into a pillow?  Sang in the shower?  Yeah. . .me too.  I am a human. . .I bleed when poked.  I get scars when cut deep or burned.  I cry when I'm afraid or sad or heartbroken.  I walk with my head down when someone stabs me in the back or offends me.  I yell when I get angry.  I laugh when someone says something funny.  I smile at babies and cute animals.  I try to help other people when they need me.  I care about other people, especially friends and family, but not only because people in general matter to me.  I am human just like you.  The same things that make you bleed, make me bleed.  The same things that make you laugh, make me laugh.  The same emotions you feel. . .I feel.  So put yourself in my shoes, and I will try to do the same.  We are human.  Different. . .but the same.