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I can't look at it anymore.
And pretend to be okay.
It still hurts just the same.
I just want to make you go away.
The past still haunts me.
Like a blood stain on the carpet.
I can't get you out of my head.
I wish we never met.
If I close my eyes,
and pretend you're not there.
Maybe the pain will stop.
There's not much more I can bear.
I just want to forget the past.
And forget you as well.
I'm sick of hurting all the time.
Though I'm sure you couldn't tell.

It Was You

I remember smoking those black cigarettes
and hanging out at the football games.
Life was so simple, so boring.
And so Plain.
I always knew there was something more out there.
Something for me to do.
But if you had asked me then, I never would have guessed. . .
It was you.
So take this journey with me.
My hero, my darling, my other half.
Let's make this a story worth telling.
As you walk me down this bumpy path.
Walk with me, I ask you please.
Until we can walk no more.
I can't wait to share my life with you.
I am forever yours.

Angry Birds

I recently bought a smartphone and have been introduced to a whole new world of apps and such.  I just have one thing to say :

I'm hooked.  Sorry for such a short post, but I gotta get back to playing Angry Birds.  L8r. 

Dear CJ,

I love you with all of my heart!  It will probably take you weeks to see this, but when you do I know it will make you smile so I can wait :)  

You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, I am just sorry it took me so long to realize it.  We may be very different people, but I think we compliment each other just fine ;) 

I just want to put in writing, to always remind you, that: I care about you so much, I love our life and our home together, I look forward to our future, I envy and admire your work ethic, your patience, and your genuine sincerity.  

You may drive me absolutely crazy sometimes, but there is never a dull moment and every day brings something new to experience together :)  

Here's to the next 8 months. 

<3 :-* 

The Journey to Me: My Blog

I'm contemplating deleting this blog. . .no worries.  I plan to start a new blog, perhaps with a slightly different theme.  

Lately, I've been all about letting go of my past and recreating myself into who I want to be.  This hasn't really been entirely easy or fun.  Especially since its still pretty foggy in here.  But I've done a lot of changing: gotten rid of my piercings, moved to cities, changed jobs, deleted facebook, changed my number, etc.  I've had this blog for over two years now.  There is a lot of my in this blog. . .which makes me want to delete it and start over, but it also makes me want to keep it.  So another possibility is that I will "end" this blog, and start another one.  An end to one part of my life, and the start of another. :) Comments are appreciated :) 

Facebook and Such Part II

Well I did it, just like I said I would.  I got my new phone today, which I LOVE!!!!! I got a new number, and I changed the number on my old phone and gave it to CJ.  Then. . .I updated my status one last time *tear* and I deleted facebook.  Mark (Zuckerburg), darling. . .don't take it personal.  You know I still LOVE YOU. . .ahem.  Just sayin ;)  But I have to say it was hard to do.  I've had my facebook for 4 years now, its so sad to say that it has become a BIG part of my life.  How sad is that??  Well I can't say for sure that I will never go back.  But I'm going to try to go AS LONG AS I CAN without my beloved Facebook.  It makes me self conscious. . .it makes me worry and care what other people think.  When I shouldn't.  I don't want to see how happy or how sad everyone else is, most of the people I don't even talk to.  Two days ago I had 850 friends.  Earlier today, after deleting a couple hundred people that I don't actually talk to, I still had 281 people left.  That's a lot of people to keep track of and worry about.  I don't want to do it, and I don't want that many people knowing whats going on in my tornado of a life.  I want to worry about Cj, and Jack, and myself for a while.  I'll keep ya posted here.  

Valentine's Day

I got my Valentine's Day present early because after CJ bought it he just couldn't wait to give it to me lol <3  He had it sitting on the kitchen counter all wrapped up and as soon as I saw it I said, "You got me a bracelet?!?" He was astounded that I could tell what it was just by looking at the box haha.  But I opened it and its a beautiful white gold and diamond bracelet from Kay.  <3

Facebook and Such

Within the next few days I am going to be getting a new phone and changing my number.  I am also going to be deleting my facebook.  I have created a like page for my blog and I will continue with that, but I don't want a personal one anymore.  The people I frequently talk to and those I want to be able to get a hold of me will get my  new number so if you want to make sure you are one of those people I would suggest you make sure I have you number.  I will still have my email and use my messengers and what not. . .just no more facebook.  But feel free to like this blog on facebook.  I have a like button at the bottom of the page.

The One That Got Away - Katy Perry

**I had nothing to do with the making of this song or video**

Ranting About Women and Such!

Mood:  Thoughtful

Weather: Cold, but sunny and nice :) 

I've been thinking about it, and stewing about it. . .so I'm just going to say it.  I blame the progressive downward fall of American Society on WOMEN JOINING THE WORKFORCE.  

Before women joined the workforce they were more dependent on their husbands, not only financially but he was part of the foundation of the family.  Women were choosier with who they married because it wasn't like they had the easy option of divorce.  They couldn't support themselves let alone a family so marriages stayed together.  

Women also had more time.  They had time to cook three whole meals a day instead of making something quick they can eat on the road or fix before everyone gets home for dinner.  So meals were healthier thus lessening obesity and other related diseases.  

They also had more time to teach children important lessons in home making, cooking, morality, etc.  They are around to set an example and keep up their surroundings.  

Granted there are a lot more factors; technology, media, etc.  But I think it all started with this, and now its no longer a decision if a woman wants to work or stay at home, they have to work in order to make ends meet.  Some even make more money than their husbands!!!  Which is empowering women, which is great! All about an empowered woman, but I think its pussifying men!  Its contradicting the traditional values people once had and confusing children.  

Women joining the workforce, in my opinion, has lead to the breakdown of the family.  Marriage is no longer valued, and neither is the central family.  This is leading to a breakdown of values, and respect for each other and ourselves.  

They aren't around as often to rear children and when they are they are trying to do the duties of women in the short time they have.  So they are more stressed out. . .I think you see where I'm going with this. . .stress, (we've all seen snapped right?), etc.  

I don't have any suggestions on fixing this.  Not in this economy.  I'm just sayin. . .But do you see where I'm coming from here?? Anyone?? Anyone??  I would love to be a homemaker.  To perfect cooking, and cleaning. . .maybe even the dreaded sewing!!!!  And know that I've been there for every minute possible for my kids and fed them properly and always kept a clean home.  Am I alone here?? Do women no longer want this for their families?? Or is it that we're just so far in the hole we can't get back out?? 

Again, these opinions are my own, the picture is not!  And I never intend to offend!