My Heart

Anyone want to finish it off and put me out of my misery??

It's A Long Story. . .

So, since Tim and I split up back in March I've been having a little problem.  I've been dating a lot trying to find Mr. Right and when I say a lot, I mean a lot.  The guys I went out with were either extremely socially awkward, just trying to get in my pants, boring, weren't interested in me, or the biggest problem. . .even if I should have liked them, I didn't.  After Tim and I split up I found myself pretty much incapable of having feelings for the guys I went out with.  Even if things went well and I should have liked them and had butterflies. . .I didn't.  It upset me.  Tim and I continued to talk and be friends after we split up, but we had a strange friendship.  There were still a lot of feelings there, which I guess is understandable considering we were engaged and broke up because of a series of misunderstandings.  I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but he got married to a woman he knew for about a month just before he got shipped to Afghanistan. . .so we were friends and talking, but he's married.  I think it was about two weeks ago I was talking to Tim and I told him that our friendship was unhealthy and we shouldn't continue because 1) he's married and I'm sure she wouldn't approve 2) I couldn't move on while having that sort of relationship with him.  It hurt like hell to say goodbye, and of course I cried, but the next day. . .I felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders.  I don't dislike Tim in any way, shape, or form.  I still consider him my friend.  I just couldn't continue like that, our friendship was doing me more harm than good emotionally and was keeping me from moving on.  So I knew I had made the right decision in sort of ending our communications because I felt so good about it, but I was and still am petrified that something is going to happen to him while he is in Afghanistan and I'm going to regret my decision for the rest of my life.  Anyways it was only days after I told Tim goodbye that I met Marcin. . .and for the first time since March I had butterflies.  I'm not sure if its because Marcin is a very special guy, or if its because I was finally able to cut ties with Tim and I. . .I like to think its a little of both because Marcin is definately special. 

Due Date

So I went to see Due Date with Gabby and Creighton the other night.  It was pretty good, but not amazing.  I thought it would be as funny as the hang over, but it wasn't.  It was comical, but it really didn't have us laughing all that much.  It's definately quotable and regardless entertaining.  :)

Besties

This is me and my bestfriend Gabby lol.  I was having a bad day, but as soon as my lovely friend showed up she had me laughing and smiling.  We decided to go to chinese and a movie just like that lol but we didn't end up going to a movie.  I love you Gabby <3

3 Years

So yesterday was the 3 year anniversary of the worst day of my life (a.k.a Jessie's death).  Every year on that day I go to the cemetary to talk to her, I do the same on her birthday.  I didn't cry at the cemetary like I did last year, instead I cried the entire way home.  It still hurts.  It's still surreal.  Not a day goes by that I don't think about her and its just especially painful on the anniversary because all the memories and emotions come swooping back to haunt me.  RIP Jess, I love you. 

You Give Me Butterflies

Pictures Say A Thousand Words

Make a Wish

I wished upon a shooting star. . .and then I met you <3

Yiruma - River Flows in You

For you. . .this will always be our song even though we never declared it as that.

BAD DATE

So I've been meaning to post about this for a little while now, but I procrastinate.  Anyways, I went on a date with this guy a bit ago and it was AWFUL!!!!!! We first went to get coffee, and everything was going just fine.  He seemed like a really nice guy and we were getting along very well.  Then we decided to go and hang out with my girlfriends.  We first went and hung out with Ashley.  Immediately I noticed that he was trying to mimic our personalities, but he was overdoing it so he seemed really fake and kind of annoying.  At first I brushed it off as him being nervous and just trying to fit in.  It only went down hill from there.  He was very affectionate, but that turned into him being way too touchy feely where I had to push him away and everything that he said made me hate him more.  When I told him I wanted to go home, he kept making excuses not to until my girlfriend had to save me with a phone call where she said that her boyfriend just broke up with her. . .Love my girlfriends.  He finally brought me home and I hung out with my girls for the rest of the night.  When I got online that night I told him that I wasn't interested in seeing him again and I took him off my friends on facebook, 10 minutes later he sent me a huge virus that almost crashed my computer.  He had told me before that he was a big computer nerd and knew how to send viruses and stuff, but I didn't think he would do it to me just because I wasn't interested in him.  Luckily I have another friend that is really good with computers that was able to help me out (Thanks Rich).  So that was my bad date. . .ughhh!!! Men Suck.