You Give Me Butterflies

Pictures Say A Thousand Words

Make a Wish

I wished upon a shooting star. . .and then I met you <3

Yiruma - River Flows in You

For you. . .this will always be our song even though we never declared it as that.

BAD DATE

So I've been meaning to post about this for a little while now, but I procrastinate.  Anyways, I went on a date with this guy a bit ago and it was AWFUL!!!!!! We first went to get coffee, and everything was going just fine.  He seemed like a really nice guy and we were getting along very well.  Then we decided to go and hang out with my girlfriends.  We first went and hung out with Ashley.  Immediately I noticed that he was trying to mimic our personalities, but he was overdoing it so he seemed really fake and kind of annoying.  At first I brushed it off as him being nervous and just trying to fit in.  It only went down hill from there.  He was very affectionate, but that turned into him being way too touchy feely where I had to push him away and everything that he said made me hate him more.  When I told him I wanted to go home, he kept making excuses not to until my girlfriend had to save me with a phone call where she said that her boyfriend just broke up with her. . .Love my girlfriends.  He finally brought me home and I hung out with my girls for the rest of the night.  When I got online that night I told him that I wasn't interested in seeing him again and I took him off my friends on facebook, 10 minutes later he sent me a huge virus that almost crashed my computer.  He had told me before that he was a big computer nerd and knew how to send viruses and stuff, but I didn't think he would do it to me just because I wasn't interested in him.  Luckily I have another friend that is really good with computers that was able to help me out (Thanks Rich).  So that was my bad date. . .ughhh!!! Men Suck. 

Sara Bareilles - King Of Anything (Dedicated To You)

Keep drinking coffee, stare me down across the table
While I look outside
So many things I’d say if only I were able
But I just keep quiet and count the cars that pass by

You’ve got opinions, man
We’re all entitled to ‘em, but I never asked
So let me thank you for your time, and try not to waste anymore of mine
And get out of here fast

I hate to break it to you babe, but I’m not drowning
There’s no one here to save

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

You sound so innocent, all full of good intent
Swear you know best
But you expect me to jump up on board with you
And ride off into your delusional sunset

I’m not the one who’s lost with no direction
But you’ll never see
You’re so busy making masks with my name on them in all caps
You got the talking down, just not the listening

And who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

All my life I’ve tried to make everybody happy
While I just hurt and hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it’s my turn to decide

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

Who cares if you disagree?
You are not me
Who made you king of anything?
So you dare tell me who to be?
Who died and made you king of anything?

Let me hold your crown, babe.

Praise The Aqua Buddha

Funerals

So. . .I've mentioned this before, but this is a slightly different situation.  I haven't been to a funeral since November 12, 2007, not because there haven't been any that I was supposed to go to, but because I've avoided going to them.  I've had a few aunts and uncles die in the past 3 years, but I wasn't very close to them so I was able to avoid going.  I know that sounds horrible, but the last funeral I went to was for my cousin Jessie.  I'm not sure what was worse, hearing that she had died, or going to the funeral to see her family and friends. . .and her laying in a box.  As I've said probably 100 times, a big part of me died when I lost Jessie and the funeral. . .I've never been in so much pain in all of my life.  Now, people close to me can't die without it bringing back the emotions and thoughts from when Jessie died.  I feel horrible about that.  I can't deal with someones death, without having to deal with Jessie's again.  I bring this up again because, as you know, David Jones just passed away a few days ago.  I'm not sure of funeral arrangements, but he was my friend and as a friend, I should go to his funeral.  I am shaking right now just thinking about it.  I know I am going to have to go to a funeral again. . .I know I'm going to have to do it, but I am petrified.  I never want to feel the pain that I felt when I was at Jessie's funeral again.  I cried the entire time.  I cried the 6 days before and for weeks after.  I still cry sometimes when I think about it.  Jessie's death changed my life.  Going to another funeral is going to be like reliving Jessie's.  I know that sounds horrible because a persons funeral should be about them, and the people there should be paying respects and mourning that person. . .not another.  But I will be there, not only mourning them, but I will also be thinking about Jessie as well. 

Halloween Costume

So this isn't the best picture, but this is essentially my halloween costume.  I'm like a. . .wealthier medieval peasant :D Lemme know what yout hink.

The Next Morning

I hate waking up the morning after something bad has happened.  Sleep, and dreaming. . .as long as its not a nightmare, takes the pain away for a little while and almost makes you forget that anything bad happened.  Then, as soon as you open your eyes the next morning. . .it hits you like a truck.   You remember what happened and all of a sudden it hits you again, and you can't help but cry.  I'm sorry, I promise less depressing posts are coming soon.  This is just a bad time of year from me.  November 6th will be the 3 year anniversary of when Jessie died and I've already been bracing myself for that. . .RIP Jess, David, Jack, Adam