Everything I've ever wanted

Everything I want is right in front of me.  When I say everything, I MEAN EVERYTHING!! Standing in front of me, screaming in my face.  I see it. . .right there. . .why don't I reach for it and grab it?? Why do I hesitate?  Everything I've ever wanted has been waiting. . .right in front of me for over a year.  I've seen it there, sitting, waiting. . .staring at me in the face.  I've touched it, but then I run away.  Does it seem too good to be true?  Do I enjoy pain?  Why can't I make things easy on myself?  No. . .I run away and find something that is masked like everything I've ever wanted.  I take that and play with it. . .while everything I have ever wanted sits in the corner still waiting and watching. . .waiting for me to get sick of the toy I had chosen.  I always do. . .I toss it aside and everything I've ever wanted stands back up, aproaches me like I never tossed it aside, takes my hands and looks deep into my eyes. . .I never look into its eyes however.  I look away.  Like I'm afraid to face it.  Why??  So here it is. . .holding my hands, staring at me.  Telling me that it's everything I've ever wanted, and that I'm everything its ever wanted.  That its been waiting. . .only for me. . .I look into its eyes. . .and just stand there.  Toys are taunting me all around with their colors and bells. . .I could easily go and play with one of them. . .am I ready for everything I've ever wanted?? Ready to put the toys away?  I take a deep breath and. . .