Ranting About Women and Such!

Mood:  Thoughtful

Weather: Cold, but sunny and nice :) 

I've been thinking about it, and stewing about it. . .so I'm just going to say it.  I blame the progressive downward fall of American Society on WOMEN JOINING THE WORKFORCE.  

Before women joined the workforce they were more dependent on their husbands, not only financially but he was part of the foundation of the family.  Women were choosier with who they married because it wasn't like they had the easy option of divorce.  They couldn't support themselves let alone a family so marriages stayed together.  

Women also had more time.  They had time to cook three whole meals a day instead of making something quick they can eat on the road or fix before everyone gets home for dinner.  So meals were healthier thus lessening obesity and other related diseases.  

They also had more time to teach children important lessons in home making, cooking, morality, etc.  They are around to set an example and keep up their surroundings.  

Granted there are a lot more factors; technology, media, etc.  But I think it all started with this, and now its no longer a decision if a woman wants to work or stay at home, they have to work in order to make ends meet.  Some even make more money than their husbands!!!  Which is empowering women, which is great! All about an empowered woman, but I think its pussifying men!  Its contradicting the traditional values people once had and confusing children.  

Women joining the workforce, in my opinion, has lead to the breakdown of the family.  Marriage is no longer valued, and neither is the central family.  This is leading to a breakdown of values, and respect for each other and ourselves.  

They aren't around as often to rear children and when they are they are trying to do the duties of women in the short time they have.  So they are more stressed out. . .I think you see where I'm going with this. . .stress, (we've all seen snapped right?), etc.  

I don't have any suggestions on fixing this.  Not in this economy.  I'm just sayin. . .But do you see where I'm coming from here?? Anyone?? Anyone??  I would love to be a homemaker.  To perfect cooking, and cleaning. . .maybe even the dreaded sewing!!!!  And know that I've been there for every minute possible for my kids and fed them properly and always kept a clean home.  Am I alone here?? Do women no longer want this for their families?? Or is it that we're just so far in the hole we can't get back out?? 

Again, these opinions are my own, the picture is not!  And I never intend to offend!

The People

"that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth. (Gettysburg address by Abraham Lincoln)." 
The people of this nation are protesting.  They are poor.  They are suffering.  1% is controlling the majority because of money.  The people are protesting.  The people can't find jobs.  The people can't get surgery, or medication.  The people are dying.  Of the people.  By the people.  For the people.  The people are protesting.  What is our nation doing for it's people?  The people are 99%. . .its only a matter of time before the 1% is dissolved. . .but then what will our nation be?  Scary times. . .scary times. 

War

Mood: Thoughtful

Weather: Cold. . .It F**king snowed last night!!!

Okay think with me here:  I am a person, a human being, yes?  Are you?  I am a female, are you?  If not then you are probably a male, correct?  I have lived for 19 years, celebrated 19 birthdays.  I have a mother, a biological father, and a chosen (adopted) father.  I have an older step sister, a younger sister, and two younger brothers, though one of which I haven't seen since he was an infant (he is my biological fathers son).  I go to school.  I work.  I have a boyfriend.  I have friends.  I have hobbies.  I have emotions.  I have daily activities.  Sometimes I laugh.  Sometimes I cry.  Sometimes I fall in love.  I have pictures.  I have memories.  I have dreams.  I have values, and morals, and beliefs, and understandings, and ideals!  Do you?  We all may be different, and have different families, thoughts, feelings, reactions, ideals, morals, beliefs, etc.  But we all have families.  We all have a mother that gave birth to us, and a father that helped created us. . .even if they are no longer around or in our lives.  We have people we care about, and others that care about us.  We have memories.  We have dreams.  So what I will never understand is how one person could kill another.  I will never understand war.  How thousands of man can band together to go kill each other.  To kill another person.  Have you ever lost a person?  Do you know what it feels like to have someone ripped away from you?  I don't care who you are, those feelings are the same.  Think about if you lost your best friend?  Your brother?  Your sister?  Your wife?  Your boyfriend?  When we go to war and kill other people. . .who do you think we are taking away?  Someone's son.  Someone's friend.  Someone's lover.  Someone's parent.  Just like we are losing.  I don't know, I don't think I will ever understand the point. 

UGH!!!

UGH I'M SUFFERING FROM WRITERS BLOCK AND IT SUCKS!!!! I'M TRYING TO WRITE A FREAKING POEM AND ITS NOT WORKING!!! SOME ONE PLEASE SEND ME SOME EXTRACT OF INSPIRATION IN A TINCTURE.  THANKS

Mini Rant for The Day

Ok, I was trying to creatively explain my thoughts and feelings right now and it wasn't coming out right so I'm just going to be blunt.  I'm retarded sometimes and (I'm going to blame my frontal lobe right now) and because my frontal lobe isn't fully developed and I can't foresee the future outcome of my decisions I sometimes make bad decisions that, at first seem like its all going to be good, but then end very badly.  As a result of this I'm embarrassed and let down. . .but I guess its okay that I still can't really feel anything and I have this Great Wall of China wrapped around my heart.  So thats my mini rant.  The End.  Peace and Love.

Random Ranting :-/

What do you do when you can't pick yourself up?
What do you do when you reach out, and no one is there to take your hand?
What do you do when you're so lost you don't even know which way is up?
If you're alone in the world, and no one can see you. . .do you exist at all?

I am not. . .

No, i'm sorry. . .i'm not a chew toy.  You can't bite me to pieces and then spit me on the floor.  I'm not a rag doll, you can't play with me for a few minutes and then put me away in a box.  I'm not a sex toy that is just here for your entertainment.  I'm a person.  I'm made up of skin, blood, organs, a heart. . .a mind.  I cry when i'm hurt, and when I'm sad.  I laugh and smile when I'm happy.  It hurts when i'm treated like a chew toy, a rag doll, a sex toy.  Thats not what I am.  Ya i'm here to help you, i'll be there for you if you ever need me. . .but i'm a person that deserves respect and decency.  I deserve to be cared for, like a porcelain doll that will break if dropped. I deserve to be loved and respected like any other person in the world.  No, i'm not perfect, I make mistakes. . .and sure, sometimes I deserve to be put in my place. . .but once in a while. . . it would be nice to not be treated like shit.  It would be nice to know that people care about me. . .*sigh* okay, i'm done ranting.

Venting/Ranting

Sometimes I wonder why I don't just give up.  Perhaps I already have.  My apathy is overwhelming. . .its getting to the point where almost NOTHING matters to me anymore.  The stuff thats left. . .its slipping through my fingers.  I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a sky scraper. . .immobile as the whole thing crashes above my head and drags me down.  When will it stop?  When will these challenges stop being thrown at me?  Why can't I just have it easy for a little while?  Haven't I lost enough?  Haven't I suffered enough?  Sometimes I feel so fragile. . .I think the wind will just tear me apart and blow me away.  There would be nothing left.  Maybe there already isn't anything left.  Am I just a hollow shell going through the motions?  Is there anything left inside of me?  Maybe I'm dried up. . .maybe I cried my heart and soul away and now there is nothing left of me.  If this is karma, what did I do?  All my life all I have wanted to do is help people. . .maybe I have no worth.  Maybe I'm nothing.  Maybe I was an accident of creation and my existence is meaningless.  I don't mean to be so emo. . .I'm really not.  I'm normally a very upbeat, optimistic person for those who know me.  Its just getting to be too much.  I've lost soo many people to death.  I've lost soo many people just from losing them.  I think I may have lost myself in the mix.  Maybe this is death. . .it just takes a while for the body to follow the soul.  Can you cry yourself to death?  Can emotional pain kill you?  Can nightmares kill you?  I don't mean to be so morbid and so depressing. . .I don't really cry anymore. . .I hurt but I brush it off and hold it in.  Thats what I mean by apathy.  Instead of crying. . .I just don't care, but I don't feel better so I'm not really happy. . .too much on my mind.  To much falling apart and going to hell around me.  I need to excape.  I need to move. . .to breath, but I can't.  I'm trapped in this mortal hell.  Trapped in this world, this town, this house, this body. . .trapped in my own freaking mind.  Things. . .thoughts. . .words longing to escape but can't find the exit.  There is nothing lighting the way out.  So I sit here pondering my pain, unable to fix it. . .apologizing for my negativity as I vent in my blog.  Maybe I should just forfeit and wave my white flag.  Surrender myself to this fate instead of attempt to fight it.  Maybe slipping into the quick sand isn't so bad.  Maybe its painless.  Fighting it is exausting. . .whats the point?  I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. . .I don't so an end to this war let alone this battle.  I see nothing ahead.  Just painful pictures of my past that won't disappear.  Thats all I see. 

School

Well my last, first day of highschool starts tomorrow.  Yay. . .(sarcasm).  I am happy to be a senior, and happy this is my last year, but really its not.  I have 5+ years left of school after this year.  Not to mention I am just sooo ready for this to be over.  I haven't even started school yet and I'm already counting the days to christmas vacation.  Why am I not excited?  I think this year will be great and all, lots of friends, great classes, I love all of my teachers, I'm a senior. . .idk.  I've visited all but one of the colleges on my list and 3 of them I'm going to apply to so far.  It will be 4 if I like this last one.  These are my choices in order:

1. Long Island University C.W Post
2. SUNY Stony Brook
3. SUNY Fredonia

the last school I have to visit is SUNY Oswego so perhaps that will be somewhere on that list too.  I plan to major in psychology and minor in theatre.  I don't know why I can't just be simple and have one major and just stop at my bachelors, but nooo, I have to get my masters and maybe even my doctorate.  Oh well.  I'm done ranting.