UPDATE: Stressful Day

Mood: hard to explain

Weather: Beautiful today :) the snow is melting!!!

Well I just wanted to let everyone know that I did in fact get everything worked out.  I was able to drop my english class without a problem, and switch into the Sociology class that I had been attending the whole time.  I had to go see the dean and she signed my papers without any problems at all.  That is a big relief off of my chest :) Just thought I would give an update on how that all went down. 

Stressful Day

Mood: Content

Weather: Won't freakin' warm up yet

So today started out as a pleasant, normal day.  I went to college this afternoon, got an 85 of my bar and beverage management test, was the only person to participate in my psychology class, flirted with a certain someone ;) and went home to study until my Anatomy and Physiology test that I had tonight.  Well I was home for about an hour before my parents got home and brought the mail, I had two letters from FMCC.  The first one I opened informed me that I had gotten all the english credits done in high school and I was no longer required to take english, so I had to go see an advisor to, once again, drop the english class I was in.  I was quite happy about that because I don't especially like my english class and its really my only source of homework.  The only thing that upset me was that I had just finished writing my paper that was due thrusday for that class. . .what a waste lol.  Then I opened the other letter.  It was informing me that I was failing a class because of attendance, mind you I haven't missed a day of school yet this semester so I was very confused and concerned.  Well it turns out I've been attending the wrong class so far this semester.  Somehow on the first day when I had to check this bulletin board if any of my classrooms had changed I somehow got the class room wrong but ended up in the same class, at the same time, just with a different professor.  So I immediately drove to the college to try to get everything straightened out.  I was able to drop my english class no problem and they told me I should be able to just switch into the class I've been attending without a problem but the advisor had to get in contact with my professor and the dean so I'll find out more about that tomorrow.  So that relieved a lot of my stress but by the time that was all done I didn't really have any time to study for my test.  It was 90 questions of hell, half were easy and I know I got them right where the other half were quite hard and I'm unsure, I should also get my grade for that tomorrow as well as my sociology test I took last week.  What a day, at least its over and I can go back to flirting with that certain someone.  Peace and Love all. 

I'm Overwhelmed

Ugh, i am so stressed out.  This week has been so terrible.  Okay, first off, I have so much to do in school, so much work its terrible.  I am doing all I can to stay caught up but its so hard with everything else that is going on.  Then we have the play this week.  I love the play, but it is really hard to focus on it all with everything else going on.  I'm working so hard on my lines and everything, but its hard to focus on and retain anything.  I study my lines every day, but there are still some I'm not getting.  Like I have some lines that have nothing to do with what we're talking about so its hard to go by cues and what not.  I have to write a play this week as well for english, which I'm excited about doing, but it just adds to everything else going on so I wish we weren't doing it right now.  On top of that I had a major issue with my boyfriend the other night.  I found out his parents and family didn't like me at all.  That broke my heart because I've never been in a situation like that.  Tim was going to leave me because of it as well. . .It hurt really really bad, but I asked tim if he loved me and if he would give me the opportunity to fix things and he said yes.  I think I was able to straighten everything out with them.  I listened to what they had to say and told them my side as well.  Their opinion is very important to me so I'm going to do all I can to make everything good.  I think they liked that I went over there to talk to them and I think tim did too.  I hope I worked it all out.  But Tim did leave today for the army and it was hard to say goodbye.  I wont see him for like a month, possibly more and it hurts.  It's stressful.  Then I'm stressed out about work, they want to give me more hours and. . .and. . .I'm going insane.  I can't handle all of this.  At the same time, I have college to worry about, my concert is coming up for orchestra, my car is a pain in the butt and I need tires, I have responsibilities at home.  Its all too much and I don't know what to do.  This week has been awful.  Last night was hard, it was stressful, scary, and nerve racking.  I'm facing things right now that I just can't handle and I've been feeling like this ever since I had pneumonia and I wasn't in school or work for 2 and a half weeks.   I can't get ahead.  I just need a break from it all, but I can't take a break because then more just builds up.  I dont know what to do. 

My Major

Well in the past few weeks I've been thinking constantly and stressing myself out terribly about my major for college.  I've known since I was in the 7th grade that I wanted to be a psychologist.  I want to help people, thats all I want to do and all I've ever wanted to do.  I want to impact someones life, and teach someone something of importance.  I want to be there for people like me, because I think I have a lot to offer and a lot to teach about life and challenges we are faced with.  Recently however, I've been thinking that being a psychologist isn't the way to go to do all of this because I mainly want to help people my age right now and adolescence don't like the thought of going to a shrink.  They think that you have to be nuts if you go to see a psychologist and they aren't as likely to open up to someone that they don't really know.  So instead of being a psychologist I've been thinking about being a teacher because I could form a better relationship with my students so that they feel comfortable coming to me with their problems and I can still go about helping, teaching, and impacting their lives in the way that I want.  I feel very close to a lot of my teachers and I know that I can go to a lot of them with any problems that I have and I am very comfortable with that, and I know my friends feel the same way.  In the beginning of the school year, my current english teacher that is filling in for my real english teacher gave us an assignment about her philosophy on teaching and it had an impact on me and I really liked it, and so far this year she has taught and had such an attitude that makes me want to be a teacher like her.  This truely stresses me out however because I hate not being sure about what I want to do, I'm a very driven individual and I just feel awful not knowing what I really want to do.  I DO NOT want to get to college without having a clear idea of what I want to major in and I'm scared to death of changing my major, I'm not sure why its such a big deal to me, but I really just don't want to do it.  I want to go in knowing exactly what I want and what I want to do and succeed in it and love it.  I don't want to change my mind 5 times and not know what I want to do.  So this is the dilema I'm faced with right now and I've been talking to a lot of my teachers about it, so we'll see. . .I'll keep you updated.