Graduation Party

So my Grad party is July 17th :) I am deff excited.  I'm not really doing any of the planning, my mom is kinda in control and I'm just showing up.  Legend has it that there will be a DJ there, lots a food, a cash bar, STUMP, and mee :) I made a list of my friends and my mom made a list of family.  I'm pretty sure I got everybody but if you would like to make sure you are on that list please hit me up.  I'm pretty good at remembering people and what not but sometimes my mind fails me sooo I can use all the help I can get.  Its going to be Saturday July 17th from 1pm-6pm :) be there or be square.

Single

Yeah. . .believe it or not Tim and I are done.  It hurts to tell the story but I will anyways.  I went to a party last weekend.  Before going I asked Tim's permission.  He said I could go and to have fun. . .Well I did just that. . .perhaps a little too much fun.  I guess I don't know my own limits like I thought I did.  I got messed up to the point where I was sitting on the couch talking to someone that wasn't there.  I don't even remember what happened that night. I know I called Tim and I was just beyond messed up.  This worried him and he didn't sleep all night.  The next morning I apologized.  Not only for worrying him and keeping him up but also for getting so messed up.  I told him I wasn't going to get that messed up at a party again unless he was there.  I said sorry. . .he was talking to me for a while and then he said he had to go.  I didn't hear from him again, and I still haven't.  This was sunday.  Well yesterday I was on myspace and I looked at his profile. . .he had been on myspace the day before.  He hadn't talked to me since around noon on sunday.  So he could go online, but he couldn't call me or return my calls or texts or anything.  So I sent him a message on myspace saying just that and that I was done.  I changed my relationship statuses reluctantly as well as my default pictures of us together.  I made our break up "facebook official."  It hurt.  I was more angry that he couldn't bother to tell me we were done, or say he just didn't want to talk to me right now, or anything.  Well I went to go visit my grandma and when I got home he had also changed his relationship status and his picture.  He made it very obvious that he was ignoring me.  I thought he was more mature than that. . .I thought he would say something if he didn't want to be with me. . .or tell me what was going on at least, but I was wrong.  I still haven't heard from him even now that we're broken up.  His mom called me this morning and told me what happened.  She said he was upset about me getting so messed up at the party.  He didn't want to have to worry about me when I go to college and what not while he is busy in the military.  He also doesn't want to stop me from having fun.  Evidently he is still upset, but I don't know about what.  That is why he won't talk to me. . .I asked him permission to go to that party, he said yes, i apologized for getting so messed up and said I wouldn't do that again with out him being here, he told me not to apologize, I was willing to wait here while he was off in Korea or Afghanistan risking his life while I worry and cry EVERY FREAKING NIGHT. . .I was willing to sacrifice everything. . .pretty much my entire life for him.  He wasn't willing to do the same.  So I'm glad.  I'm glad we broke up in that case because 1. he obviously doesn't love me enough for me to spend the rest of my life with him. 2. he plays the "ignoring" game.  3. I'm free now.  I'm not longer tied down the army wife relationship that I was willing to do.  I don't have to do that now.  Now I can find myself a man that will appreciate me and everything I do and not make me sacrifice so much.  I can have a normal marriage to a man that is here.  I can have the wedding I wanted.  So, although it hurts, the break up is more than likely for the best.  Did I love him?  More than I can put into words.  Do I still? I probably always will because thats just how I am.  I still believe we had something special.  He was special to me.  I loved him, but I think. . .in the back of my mind. . .I knew it wasn't going to work out.  I couldn't talk to him. . .he got angry at the littlest of things and he told his family EVERYTHING I told him.  I was lonely and depressed always. . .so its probably for the best.  It hurts still, I still cry and miss him. . .but I'm going to be okay.  Just have to continue my search for the real "one". 

Adoption Party

Well this is a big thank you for everyone that attended my party on saturday celebrating my adoption.  The party was planned very last minute and I couldn't remember who I had invited and who I hadn't so if I didn't invite you or remind you or whatever, I am very sorry.  I was just so all over the place with everything.  The party went very well though.  It was at my aunt Pat's barn that they just made and doesn't have animals in it yet.  My boyfriend's step mom Karen was the DJ and she was amazing so if you need a DJ let me know :D.  Less people showed up than what we were expecting but it was fun.  We played stump and danced and then my parents got very drunk. . .it was bad.  I have very interesting videos and pictures from that night and it will be unforgettable.  Then my dad gave me my new social security card with my new name on it and we danced together.  I had to hold back tears when he told me he loved me because all I ever wanted was to REALLY have a dad and now I do.  I'm still having a hard time calling him dad, I forget most of the time, but I'm working on it. 

The Adoption

Well the adoption is finally coming to a close.  All we have left is the court date on Sept 28th.  This is the day that I get my last name changed and accept Gary as my father.  I am really excited but at the same time I feel a little weird.  I keep thinking about calling him "Dad." I mean, I call him dad to everyone else, like I say "my dad" or something to that extent, but when I talk to him I don't call him dad.  I know that he really is my father because he has raised me since I was 5 years old and he has been there when my real father wasn't.  I know this really shouldn't be a big deal, but it does make me feel weird.  I still don't know how I'm going to go about doing it either. . .idk. . .thinking about it makes me nervous.  Anyways I'm getting my last name changed to Oeser, which means I need a new license, SS card, birth certificate, EVERYTHING.  I think when I get my new license I am going to get the "enhanced" license lol.  Then we are going to have a BIG party with beer pong and stump lol!! I like parties, especially big ones, they're fun.  I'm very happy about becoming an Oeser because honestly, thats the family I feel the closest to.  I see at least one of them EVERYDAY!! and I like it.  I am happy with my decision.  I will update more probably on Sept 29th lol.