Another Nightmare

I had another nightmare last night, this one was very much different than all the other ones I've had.  I dreamed that Chris was following me, I was never out of his site and every chance he got he would rape me.  One time, when I tried to fight him and get away he beat me in the face with a shovel and knocked all my teeth out.  Other people knew what was going on, but they couldn't do anything.  The cops couldn't catch him for some reason so they more or less didn't try anymore.  He would sleep in my car, and follow me to work and school.  He threatened me everyday and I was so petrified.  This dream confuses me because I was never scared of Chris or felt threatened by him.  He isn't that type of person so I'm not sure where that dream came from.  All I know is I woke up crying again and it has been bothering me every day.  I'm so sick and tired of having nightmares all the time and being scared like this. . .its sucks. 

My Nightmare

So, those of you who know me know that I have nightmares like several times a week.  Well the other night I had another one of those nightmare.  I dreamed that my friend Laura moved into my cousins house (the one that passed away) and I went over to visit her.  We were up in what used to be my cousins room, a room that she and I have a lot of memories in and all the furniture was pretty much the same and it all just looked like. . .her room.  Then Laura asked me if I was okay being in that room, or if it bothered me, and as soon as she asked that question I couldn't speak and there was a very sharp pain in my neck and chest.  Thats all I remember.  Its just so frustrating having these nightmares all the time because memories just being brought back and pain keeps coming to the surface.  Thats all I really have to say, I just thought I would share that with you.  

Dreams

So I have a lot of very strange dreams and those of you who I talk to frequently or have sat at my lunch table know exactly what I am talking about. Frequently I have had a lot of nightmares, at least 1 or 2 a week. They are usually all about Chris dying in a car accident. There has only been one occasion where he has died in any other way and in that one he died because he had a seizure. My most memorable nightmare was that I was driving in a different vehical than him and we collided head on. I saw his face just before I hit him and he died on impact. In my dream I went insane because of this. . .I woke up and began crying and I almost couldn't collect myself enought to go to school. I know that I have these dreams because I lost my cousin. They may also be because when I was 10 I watched my grandfather die and when I was like 13 or 14 I watched a man die on the side of the road from a heroin over dose. I know its mainly because of my cousin because that effected me the most.

I've had dreams about my cousin too. After the accident I had frequent dreams about the accident. I saw her face and I saw her close her eyes. I saw things that I don't really want to go into detail about, but that was what I dreamed. Then after a few months went by I started just dreaming about her. Like we would talk and hang out like we would before she passed away. We would play games and giggle. . .Part of me wonders if it was really her. Like she was coming to me in my dreams to make me feel better. I would always cry when I woke up because I would miss her, but I liked the dreams that I had. I wonder if that was her way of communicating with me. I believe that spirits and ghosts are there with us. I don't know if they are always there, or if its just a part of their soul that stays behind or what, but I do believe that they are there. They are just on a different level than us and thats why we can't see them or communicate with them (most of us anyways. Mediums are on a different level too) but I think they find ways of communicating with us, like my dreams for example. I wonder if that was her. I have had dreams in the past that have come true, I've dreamed of people before meeting them and dreamed of things happening before they do. So if I can do that, why can't the dead come to me in my dreams. I believe that dreams are more than just our subconscious. Maybe when we dream we travel to a different world or a different dimension. Dreaming to me is very intersting. We close our eyes and drift away to a place where anything can be real. . .it fascinates me. These are just a few more of my thoughts. . .