So Chris. . .as in my ex. . .so much I want to say, but. . .lack of words. As of right now he is not speaking to me. Why? I haven't the slightest clue. All I know is he's upset that I'm engaged and he stopped talking to me after he found out. He tried telling my bestfriend that I cheated on him. . .never happened. He tried saying that the only reason I'm engaged to Timothy is because he wouldn't take me back. . .not true. I will admit I have loved Chris since the day we met, I will always love Chris, why? I have no freaking clue. I just know I always will. I never told Chris I wanted to get back with him. Sure, the thought crossed my mind while Tim and I were having problems, but I never said it out loud and I was never going to actually get back together or ask him to get back together with me because I know we just don't work anymore. We can't be together for whatever reason, so I wasn't going to try. I never told him that though. I understand that for a while was back and forth with what I was going to do with Tim, yes I was confused. When he came home, that night we sat up in bed at like 3:30 in the morning talking about us. Before I said anything, he asked me what I thought about him getting out of the military. We talked about it. He wants to get out of the military for me and his family. While he held me, I realized how much he loved me. He didn't have to say it, I could feel it, I could see it in his eyes and feel it when he held me and kissed me. I was amazing that anyone could love me like that and I felt like the luckiest girl on the planet. I got engaged to him because I love him and because he is probably one of the most amazing people I have ever met and I just so happen to be the lucky girl he fell for. He said he wanted to get out of the military, not only for me, but still I was part of the reason. Thats when I realized well if he's willing to do that for me, I can wait for him. Thats exactly what I'm doing. Waiting. I didn't get engaged because I couldn't have someone else, thats stupid. I know I was unsure before, but I know more than anything that he is everything I want and I will wait the rest of my life if I have to just for him. I'm not perfect, I make mistakes, but he knows about everything. I told him what was going on with me and we talked about it.
Chris, I dont know why you're mad at me. . .I did nothing to you. I don't know why you're telling people I cheated on you, I loved you soo much when we were together I never would have cheated on you, I never had time, we were together almost constantly. Stop being immature.
The thing that hurt me. . .I realized the other day that I was no longer friends on facebook with his stepmom, dad, or brother. . .did Chris say something to them for them to not like me? Did they just not want to be in the middle of this? That hurt me because I loved his family soo much. . .I dont know what happened. :(
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment