Halloween Costume

So this isn't the best picture, but this is essentially my halloween costume.  I'm like a. . .wealthier medieval peasant :D Lemme know what yout hink.

The Next Morning

I hate waking up the morning after something bad has happened.  Sleep, and dreaming. . .as long as its not a nightmare, takes the pain away for a little while and almost makes you forget that anything bad happened.  Then, as soon as you open your eyes the next morning. . .it hits you like a truck.   You remember what happened and all of a sudden it hits you again, and you can't help but cry.  I'm sorry, I promise less depressing posts are coming soon.  This is just a bad time of year from me.  November 6th will be the 3 year anniversary of when Jessie died and I've already been bracing myself for that. . .RIP Jess, David, Jack, Adam

R.I.P David Jones Part II

Its hard for me to believe that he's gone.  I can't believe that he's not going to be harrassing me almost every day while trying to get me to agree to go to dinner and consider dating him after he gets back to New York.  I talked to him just a few days ago, and now he's gone.  One of the last things he said to me was "idk if i should say  this but if i was there i would kiss u right  now" I copied that right from skype.  You know what my response was?  I didn't say anything back.  I smiled, and I was flattered, but I wasn't about to let him know that.  I had told him several times that I don't date soldier boys, not after my ex fiance.  He didn't care.  He kept at it.  I did finally agree to go to dinner with him about 2 weeks ago.  He was supposed to be coming home the first week of November.  I can't believe he is actually gone and I don't have him to talk to anymore.  He always made me smile and made me feel better.  He always listened.  I miss you David Jones.  Rest In Peace. 

R.I.P David Jones

I hate doing this.  I hate having to post this, but this is my only vent and he should be honored with a blog at the very least.  David was a friend of mine.  One of the friends I would stay up late talking to online and camming with.  He was in the army and in iraq and he passed away.  He wanted to take me to dinner when he got back to the states, over and over again I told him I don't date soldier boys.  Finally I told him I would let him take me out. . .RIP David <3

Bum

So, I'm sorry that I haven't really been posting anything about my life lately. . .truth is, life as a bum is pretty boring.  I go out often and hang out with Ashley and Gabby, but thats about it.  I sleep until about 10:30 every day, and it takes me until about 1 to ACTUALLY get up. . .then I either clean, try to find a job, or do. . .nothing.  Thats how my days have gone since I've been home.  No one is hiring. . .so I'm seriously going to be a bum until school starts again in January.  I really don't enjoy being a bum. . .I wish I had something to do lol.  Oh well.  Just thought I would update you all on my life. . .not much happening right now, but as soon as it does I'll let you know.  Wish me luck in my job search. 

I Know I'm Vain

Just a few more pictures of me taken today :D I know I'm vain, can't help it.  Hope you like em :)

Single Ladies -- Beyonce (Dedicated to you ;) )

All the single ladies, all the single ladies
All the single ladies, all the single ladies
All the single ladies, all the single ladies
All the single ladies

Now put your hands up
Up in the club, we just broke up
I'm doing my own little thing
Decided to dip and now you wanna trip
Cause another brother noticed me

I'm up on him, he up on me
Don't pay him any attention
Just cried my tears, for three good years
Ya can't be mad at me

Cause if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don't be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Oh, oh, oh

If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don't be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it

I got gloss on my lips, a man on my hips
Got me tighter in my Dereon jeans
Acting up, drink in my cup
I can care less what you think

I need no permission, did I mention
Don't pay him any attention
Cause you had your turn and now you gonna learn
What it really feels like to miss me

Cause if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don't be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Oh, oh, oh

If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don't be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Oh, oh, oh

Don't treat me to the things of the world
I'm not that kind of girl
Your love is what I prefer, what I deserve

Here's a man that makes me then takes me
And delivers me to a destiny, to infinity and beyond
Pull me into your arms, say I'm the one you own
If you don't, you'll be alone
And like a ghost Ill be gone

All the single ladies, all the single ladies
All the single ladies, all the single ladies
All the single ladies, all the single ladies
All the single ladies
Now put your hands up, oh, oh, oh

Cause if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don't be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Oh, oh, oh

If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Don't be mad once you see that he want it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it
Oh, oh, oh

College :O

Okay, well anyone that has ready my blog at all since like August knows that I'm not a big fan of college. . .so I fixed that problem.  In one of my last posts about college I mentioned that I was thinking about switching my major to nursing.  That may have originally been a decision made for the wrong reasons, but the idea really grew on me and the more I look into it the more excited I am about it.  So that plan is pretty much set in stone.  I'm going to transfer to FMCC in the spring :D  The part I didn't tell you was that I decided to withdrawal from SUNY Oneonta.  I took a personal leave for the remainder of the semester so it won't count against me and then I'll continue at FM in January.  I was truely and sincerely miserable at Oneonta and it was getting to the point where I could no longer handle it. . .I hate feeling like that because I'm not a quitter.  I've been through so much in my lifetime.  Everything I've been through has been 100x worse than living at college. . .but this felt like the breaking point for some reason.  So I made this one decision all by myself. . .because it really concerns no one except for me. . .and my parents sort of because I'd be moving back home :P but mom said the door was always open.  So I officially moved out yesterday.   The plan is for me to get a couple jobs and work until I start school again.  Then I'll probably have at least one job while going to school for nursing at FM and save up to buy another car and eventually an apartment.  So I am officially a bum until further notice :P not something I'm exactly proud of, but I have to do what feels right for me.  Wish me luck.

Dedicated to the GREATEST GUY IN THE WORLD!!!

You told me to stop being insecure. . .what you don't realize is that I did.  You don't like the more confident me.  You don't like the me that doesn't need your approval to be happy.  You told me to stop being insecure. . .I slept on that.  Confidence comes from being happy with one's self and feeling comfortable within one's skin.  I'm much more happy with myself when I'm not doing things that make me uncomfortable to make you happy.  I didn't grow confidence over night. . .it doesn't happen that way, but I took the first step.  The second step was getting rid of the people that bring me down.  I did that too when I said I was over with this.  You didn't like that either.  I took your advice. . .that didn't make you happy either. . .Sorry, I tried, but I'm done now.  Then, you decided to try to put me down by insulting me with something I came crying to you about before.  Goodjob, did that make you feel better?  I hope so.  Later.

ME :D

These are just some recent pix of me taken at college :D Hope you like them.